What are you living for?
by RawenclawBabe
Summary: Luna rescues Severus Snape from the Shrieking Shack after the final battle and saves his life with an ancient ritual. Years later they meet again and must face the consequences - rated M mostly DH-compliant - story is currently undergoing some changes
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The world of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling

A/N: I've started to write this story nearly two years ago. I haven't continued it for so long because I wasn't really happy with it any more. Now I've decided to redo it and partially change this story.

A/N: Luna and the other characters might appear a bit OOC – you have been warned.

A/N: **Warning this chapter contains** **non-consensual**** sex and is rated M**

Summary:

This story starts at the end of Deathly Hallows, only Snape doesn't die because Luna saves him through an ancient ritual during which she conceives his children. Snape disappears to live in the muggle world, but returns to Hogwarts as Headmaster years later, when McGonagal retires. There he meets Luna again - she is a teacher now and her two children are just starting their first year at Hogwarts.

**What are you living for?**

By RawenclawBabe

**Chapter 1**

Voldemort was dead. Harry had finally killed him and fulfilled his prophecy. The battle of Hogwarts was over. So many people were dead – Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks and Fred Weasley - wounded or missing.

Luna Lovegood was exhausted. She had fought together with the other members of D.A. alongside the aurors and the order of Phoenix. She had listened to what Harry had said about Headmaster Severus Snape and his unfulfilled love. She was sad. She had always loved sad love stories and hoped that in the end everybody would find love though. Those stories were her secret hope, because she had always been the weird girl, who hoped for a happy end herself. She really could identify with Severus Snape who had sacrificed his life to protect the son of the woman he loved.

Hermione had told Luna, how she, Ron and Harry left Professor Snape for dead in the Shrieking Shack. He had given Harry his memories about the love of his life – Lily Evans who had married his arch nemesis James Potter and was the mother of Harry Potter, the famous boy-who-lived whose mother had sacrificed her life for her child.

Saddened by this story, Luna made a decision. Perhaps there was still time. Perhaps it wasn't too late. Perhaps there was a way to save Severus Snape, so that he could finally live his own life. He had lived his whole life in the shadow of the woman he loved and her family. For all he had done in the memory of Lily and for Harry, he deserved a second chance to live. Luna had always known that there was more to a person than what first met the eye – although the amount of secrets differed from person to person. And Severus Snape had always been a true mystery, because his appearance didn't betray his emotions. He had been able to keep his love secret for so long.

Luna ran to the Shrieking Shack. She found the body of Severus Snape lying there in a pool of his own blood. She had to fight back tears. She was very sad. She had hoped she could still save him. She was devastated:

"I'm so sorry that I couldn't help you Headmaster Snape, sir. You are a true hero. I'm so sorry that you never experienced happiness for yourself, because the love of your life fell for someone else. Rest in Peace Severus Snape, I hope you find love and happiness in your next life."

Sobbing Luna touched his pale face – he gasped – he was still alive. Severus Snape was in a deep coma, he was unconscious but alive. An empty potion vial fell from his hand when his body slightly.

Luna saw the vial falling and realised that there was still a chance – he had been prepared for that attack and tried to save his life. Snape had taken the anti-venom against Nagini's venom, because had never really trusted Voldemort and hated his stupid pet snake familiar.

Searching Snape's robes Luna found some vials of healing and blood replenishing potions. She poured one of each in his mouth – luckily his reflexes still seemed to work – and he swallowed the potions.

The wound on his neck started to close and Luna took a deep breath. She waited until the wound was healed and Snape gained some colour – not really much – he still was pale as death. Seeing the improvement of his condition, she pulled unconscious Snape close and disapparated with him.

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Luna apparated them – she brought them to her family's summer mansion. It had been in her mother's family for centuries and Luna had inherited it after her mother's untimely death. It was her last connection to her mother's family, who mostly ignored her existence.

Her mother had had a potions and a spell lab in the house. Luna didn't like the manor, because her mother had died there - experimenting. Her father also didn't like his late wife's mansion, because her family always thought him some sort of weirdo with his magazine - the Quibbler – they had given her that mansion and then disowned her for marrying him.

No one would ever find them there. Severus would be safe.

Luna called Sunny and Moony her mother's house elves who had been the only inhabitants of the mansion for almost eight years now. The house elves took Snape to the master bedroom and Luna went into the potions lab. It was still fully stocked with many viable ingredients. Luna took a cauldron and started brewing. Snape would need many potions till he was fully recovered.

Luna had always loved Potions. Her mother had started teaching her Potions and Charms when she was only five years old. She was brilliant in both subjects and had always an Outstanding in both subjects – she had inherited her mother's talents after all. Nevertheless Professor Snape had mostly ignored her, but she knew being ignored by him was always better for you, if you weren't Slytherin. Well, that of course wasn't completely true, because Snape didn't have trouble with Ravenclaws.

After she finished her potion she went to see Snape. "I have brewed a special healing potion for you, sir. It's an invention of my late mother. I hope it works with your injuries."

She purred the potion into his mouth and he swallowed it. Instantly his heartbeat and his breathing became better and he looked healthier.

"If the potion works correctly for your injuries, you should be waking any moment now, sir," Luna said softly while she was stroking Snape's hair. She sighed, there was no sign that he was waking up.

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A week passed and nothing changed. Snape was still in a coma and Lund fed him healing and nutrition potions. He was alive but still unconscious. Luna didn't really know what to do. She fed him and she washed him and talked to him. Actually he looked healthier than when he was serving the Dark Lord and when he had to be acting as double-agent – but that didn't really help since he remained unconscious. His body seemed to be healthy but his soul was lost in the coma.

She started researching in her family's library. The library had been built over centuries - each generation had added new books. The oldest books were almost a thousand years old – Luna's mother was a descendant of a very old pure-blood family, they claimed her family directly came from Merlin himself. Luna loved this fact about her family although her mother was directly related to the Malfoys – Lucius Malfoy was her mother's older brother, who had disowned his sister when she married Xenophilos Lovegood.

It had been really weird for Luna when she was imprisoned in Malfoy Manor during the war – she had never been so close to her mother's family before, although she and her cousin Draco were both attending Hogwarts.

Her mother's family - the Malfoys - had always experimented with blood magic and earth magic. And in one of these old tomes she found the solution – a ritual that would heal the soul and give back live.

An ancient ritual, that had to be performed on midsummer night. But to perform the ritual a sacrifice was required – her virginity.

'Well', Luna thought, as she looked on her calendar, 'I've still two weeks left two find an alternative solution. I think he's attractive and I can imagine to have sex with him but I would like us both awake, when we do it.'

She re-read the passage:

_...The blood of a virgin binds the soul to its body. The incantation calls the spirits of the earth for help. This ritual requires certain sacred conditions to work properly. _

_1. The ritual has to be performed on the soil, in direct contact to mother nature. _

_2. No form of contraception is allowed, as nature must be able to flow freely during the ritual._

_3. If a child is conceived during the ritual, it may not be aborted. Every child conceived during a sacred ritual is sacred by nature..._

Luna choked. She really had to think about that. What would happen, if she became pregnant? She had always dreamt about having a family and children – perhaps because she was an only-child who had lost her mother too early - she always wanted a happy loving family with more than two members. But she still had one year to finish at Hogwarts. And afterwards she wanted to travel the world writing articles for her father's magazine or she wanted to become a healer or a Potions mistress or a Charms mistress. How could she do this with a child?

Would Snape stay and help her? Did she really want him to stay because of a child he didn't want and because he owed his life to her?

Shaking her head Luna made a decision - she wanted him to stay with her but out of love and not out off debt. She wanted him to love her like she loved him – she had come to love him while she cared for him. And for her love she was willing to give her virginity, so that he could survive and finally live.

Luna went over to the bed and sat down next to Severus. She stroked his hair out off his face and kissed his forehead: "Severus Snape, I, Luna Lovegood, will find a way to help you. I do this, because I love you and I don't want that you believe you owe me a life debt. I swear that I'll always love you and be there for you. And so you won't owe me a life debt, because you are the only man I will love for as long as we both shall live." As she said these words a wizard's oath took place – Luna Lovegood had just sworn Severus Snape eternal love.

Luna looked down at Severus and kissed his lips - still unconscious - he responded and kissed her back.

After the kiss Luna laughed: "Well, obviously you aren't Sleeping Beauty, I kissed you and you are still asleep."

She wanted to be close to him and stroked his hair out of his face. She lay down on the bed next to him.

Luna was tired after researching for so long. She snuggled to Severus side and fell asleep next him. Unconsciously he moved closer to her and wrapped an arm around her.

Luna woke feeling warm and comfortable. She smelled something warm and spicy next to her. She opened her eyes and saw Severus Snape lying next to her. His arm lay over her body and he was snuggled close to her. She wondered how a comatose man could have unconsciously looked for intimacy through snuggling. Luna really wondered how deep his coma could be. But he was still in a coma and was breathing steadily.

"Good morning, Severus", Luna said and kissed him. She left the bed and went to the bathroom. She took a shower and dressed herself for the new day. She told the house elves to make breakfast and went back to the master bedroom. She sat down on the bed next to Severus and fed him the nutrition potion.

She took her wand and checked his vitals. He was still in a deep coma; his consciousness hadn't improved since she had rescued him from the Shrieking Shack. The Virgin blood Ritual really WAS necessary, nothing else would help.

Luna was quite proficient with healing charms and medical potions, when her mother died she promised herself to become a healer. She never wanted to be damned to helplessly watch again, how someone died who was important to her.

Luna started to learn the necessary healer skills in the holidays after her first year at Hogwarts and secretly apprenticed Healing with an old healer who had retired from St Mungos a few years ago. She hadn't taken the exams yet, but she had learned everything a fully-trained healer knew. No one at Hogwarts knew about her wish to become a healer, they all thought she would follow her fathers footsteps and become a journalist and editor of the Quibbler. But the truth was, Luna loved having secrets, she thought it boring, if people were too easy to read – this was one reason why she liked Severus Snape the man always was a mystery.

"Only one week left until I can perform the ritual with you though that you will wake up from your coma. I have to brew some potions for you and also for the ritual. But I'll come back later and tell you more." Luna told.

Luna spoke to Severus every day, she didn't know how much he really heard but she thought it might help him and his soul while being trapped in his unconscious body. And – but she didn't really want to admit it – she felt lonely without talking to him. Well, why not – she loved Thestrals, weird jewellery and Severus Snape – no wonder her classmates always called her 'Loony' Lovegood.

The next day she started brewing the potion for the ritual, which both of them would have to imbibe. The last ingredient needed – the blood of the man who was to be healed. She went into the master bedroom and took a silver dagger from her robes.

"Sorry Severus, but I need a bit of your blood for your potion as well as some of your hairs."

She cut off a lock of his ebony coloured hair with the silver dagger. After that she took his left hand in her left hand and cut in it. She caught his blood in an empty vial. Then she took her wand and healed the cut. With these ingredients she went back to the potions lab in the cellar. There she cut off a lock of her own blond hair in cut in her left hand to take some of her own blood.

She put these last ingredients into the potion and stirred it seven times counter-clockwise. She extinguished the flame under the cauldron and stirred the potion three times clockwise, and it reached its final blood-red colour.

Luna returned to the master bedroom. She jumped onto the bed next to Severus and kissed him. Now she knew she loved him and she would do anything for him. In her heart she hoped that maybe one day he would love her like she loved him. She wanted him to be happy and secretly wished he would be happy with her.

"The potion is finished now. Everything is ready now, in two days it is time for the Virgins-Ritual, then you can finally wake up again."

She stroked his hair and feed him another dose of nutritional potion. Two days and he would be able to eat again. She called She called the house elves Sunny and Moony and told them to prepare a real feast in two days time. She also asked them to bake a big chocolate cake.

00000

On the morning of the midsummer night the, the twenty-first June Luna woke before dawn. It would be a long day, not only because it was the longest day of the year but because of the ritual.

She called her house elves told them to prepare everything for the ritual. Then she pulled off her clothes and put on a long loose-fitting white dress with nothing underneath. She took of all her jewellery and brushed her hair until it fell loose over her shoulders like liquid gold.

It was just before dawn when she dressed Severus in a lose-fitting white linen shirt and equally lose-fitting white linen trousers. Then she asked Moony to bring him to the spring in the forest, were the first part of the ritual was supposed to take place.

She took Severus with her in the pond which was filled by the spring. Although it was summer the water was quite cool. In the pond she washed them both with the fresh, clear water from the spring. While she was washing them both, she chanted the ancient purification incantation necessary for the ritual. They both had to be purified by nature for the ritual to work.

When she was finished she asked Sunny and Moony to put Severus into Natures sacred Circle in the middle of the meadow. The outline of the circle was made of different aspects of nature and life there were flowers and fruits. Luna walked around Severus following the circle, she was chanting to praise Mother Nature and the holy earth where all life comes from.

She took one vial of the potion she had brewed for the ritual and began to massage Snape's naked body. She started with his feet and legs she moved up massaging every inch of his body. He instantly reacted to her tender ministrations. Although unconscious his body wanted to take part in the ritual, at least one part of him seemed to be awake – his member stood half-erect begging for Luna's attention.

She was over him and stroked his lean body and massaged his muscular breast with the potion. She got aroused by feeling his strong body while she administered the potion to him.

After massaging Snape's body Luna started to massage her own body with the potion. The potion instantly increased her arousal as it contained a strong aphrodisiac.

She moved over Severus body and kissed him, she slipped her tongue over his lips and his mouth opened out of reflex. She slipped her tongue into his mouth and kissed him feverishly. She felt her own arousal – she was wet. She also felt Severus arousal at her bottom, his member stood fully-erect up now.

Luna knew what she had to do to perform the ritual. She was a virgin and honestly this wasn't how she would have ever imagined her first time to be. She wasn't even sure, if she was aroused enough for the next step yet. She took her left hand from his torso and started to play with her clitoris until she felt her orgasm.

Luna took Severus member in her hand and positioned him at her entrance. She took a deep breath and lowered herself onto him till she felt the barrier of her maidenhead. She took another deep breath and pushed herself down on to his shaft, till he filled her completely. She sat still and waited for the initial pain to ease. Then she started moving up and down his shaft intoning the incantation for the ritual.

Magic began to swirl around their connected bodies. With every breath they took the power of the nature and the earth into their bodies. Luna felt herself getting stronger, they both started to glow in white light. The sexual tension flowed between them as did the magic. Their bodies were connected through magic and sex. Luna moved faster and faster and repeated the incantation over and over again getting louder and louder in the process. She was like in trance – there were only sex and magic in the entire universe – she and Severus belonged together in the most ancient way of nature. Only Luna and Severus existed. They were glowing magically – they were timeless and together for all eternity in that moment. The moment became eternity.

Luna was gone in the bliss of the moment as she felt her release washing over her. Her inner muscles cramped down on Severus member and triggered his release. He spilled his seed deep into her.

Panting and totally exhausted Luna finished the last incantation. Then she stood up and redressed herself. She took her wand and scourgified them both. As she was finished she looked at him again and stroked his hair. As she touched him, he opened his eyes.

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"Am I dead?" Severus asked huskily. He could hardly use his voice after that awful snakebite and the time he hadn't used it. He couldn't really see anything, because everything was bright and sunny and his eyes weren't used to light any more.

"No, Severus", an angelic voice answered him.

After a few moments he discerned his surroundings and recognized Luna.

"Miss Lovegood, would you mind telling me why I am here with you and most of all why I am NAKED?"

"That was necessary for the healing ritual I performed on you. I used the power of earth and nature to wake you out of your coma."

She handed him a robe and wanted to help him up. But he pushed her hand away from his arm. He didn't want any more help from that girl. Luna called her house elf Moony and asked him to apparate Severus and her back to the dining room of the mansion.

"Professor Snape you should eat something. The last two month you were only fed through nutritional potions." Luna said and led him to the table where the house elves had already put a large variety of food.

"Miss Lovegood, why have you helped me? I was your teacher for six years and you hated me like Potter and his gang." Snape asked.

"I don't hate you, sir, and I've never hated you. I felt it necessary to rescue you from the Shrieking Shack when Harry told the story of your life and your love for Lily Potter" – Severus flinched as he heard that name - "while he was fighting Voldemort" – he also flinched as he heard that name – "I wanted to save you because you deserve a chance to finally have a life!" Luna was totally calm and logical as she explained her opinions concerning his life.

"Are you trying to tell me that Potter embarrassed me in front of the entire Wizarding Community by telling them about my non-existent love-life? I might be not dead, but I am certainly in HELL. I will leave our world, I grew up in the muggle world – I don't need to stay here to be laughed at by everyone

Luna answered smiling: "If you want it to put like that, you are right. But you are one of the greatest heroes of our world. You've already got your own chocolate-frog-card. You will be celebrated - but I guess you don't want fame. I have your wand in your bedroom, and there is a potions lab in my house here – so you can disguise yourself, get your belongings out of Hogwarts and then start a new life somewhere else. That's what you want, isn't it?"

Severus Snape was taken aback. This dreamy schoolgirl had figured him out. She knew exactly what he wanted to do, while everybody believed him dead:

"That's the plan and it will work if you tell nobody what you did for me. I am finally free. I'll go away and enjoy my freedom. Perhaps I'll return someday, maybe not."

She smiled at him sadly: "It is your own life – finally."

He went to the master bedroom took his wand and dressed himself properly, then he apparated away to his house in Spinner's End.

He had left for good. Luna was alone in her ancestry's home and started to cry. She had hoped he would be more open – but obviously she was wrong. He wasn't ready to commit to anyone again yet. He wasn't ready for a relationship.

Luna saw him for who he was and she loved him for it. He had lived his life for others too long – he needed freedom

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Her life continued as before after Severus Snape had left. Luna returned to Hogwarts to start her seventh on the first of September. Although there was something different, she was six weeks along in her pregnancy. She started feeling sick two weeks after Snape had left her and the Wizarding World, she didn't know where he had gone, but she didn't want to burden him anyway. He had left her without saying "Thank you" or "Goodbye".

Her main problem now was, how would she be able to have her baby in March and sit her NEWTS in May to finish her schooling – she really had to talk to the Headmistress McGonagal and her Head of House Flitwick – but she had no idea what to tell them, because single mothers were normally frowned upon in the Wizarding world.

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A few weeks into the first term of the first school year after the final fall of Voldemort Headmistress McGonagal was completely distraught. There where at least thirty pregnant students between fifth and seventh year. Most of the girls apparently didn't even know who the fathers of their children might be – the Headmistress was at her wits end. What was she supposed to do with all the pregnant students and their babies who were to be born during the spring term at school?

The School board was at a loss as well. After many discussions between the teachers and the school governors a decision was made. They decided the pregnant students – at least the seventh years – should take their NEWTs early, in the week before Christmas. The younger girls should take a break in their schooling – the school would offer them owl-study-lessons they could do at home while raising their children – they'd only have to come to school for practical lessons once a week via the floo-network.

In December Luna Lovegood, Ginny Weasley–soon-to-be-Potter sat their NEWTs along with several other pregnant classmates. They both passed. Luna did remarkably well, considering her delicate situation and the fact that they were taking the exams half a year early - she received seven O's and two E's.

Although not being pregnant Hermione Granger took her NEWTs together with Luna, Ginny and the other pregnant students – she couldn't stand the idea of her boyfriend's younger sister getting her NEWTs sooner than she. But she considered doing the exams again – she had only received seven 'Outstanding' and two 'Exceeds Expectation'. She was devastated when she learned that the pregnant Looney Lovegood had received the same marks on her NEWTs – Hermione was the brightest witch of her age and that just wasn't possible. But when she told Luna about the situation, the younger dreamy-eyed girl just looked at her as if she – Hermione Granger – was insane. Looney Lovegood was questioning Hermione Granger's sanity.

After her NEWT's Luna talked to Professor Slughorn about an apprenticeship – the Potions Master wanted to retire again. They decided that Luna would start in September – half a year after she had given birth – and she would finally be his replacement two years later.

The only problem was her father – Xenophilos Lovegood had hoped that his daughter would assist him publishing the Quibbler after finishing school and he was rather surprised about his daughter's pregnancy – she had never really shown any interest in boys after all. The editor had difficulties coming to terms with the fact that his innocent little daughter was having twins out of wedlock, so he accepted that his daughter would stay at Hogwarts.

Alexander and Selena Lovegood were born on March the 21st 1999, nearly a year after the end of the Magical War against Lord Voldemort.

Harry Potter's son with Ginny Weasley was born on the first anniversary of the victory. Molly Weasley was truly happy about her new grandchild – although she had to come to terms with the fact that her daughter had got pregnant before they were married. But when she saw the tiny baby boy James Sirius Potter she was just happy.

Harry was happy having his son and wife – but there was also a tinge of sadness in his heart, because he had never known his parents and his son would never know his paternal grandparents.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: The world of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling

**What are you living for?**

By RawenclawBabe

**Chapter 2**

**May 2000 – two years after the end of the war**

Two years had passed since the end of the war. Harry Potter rushed through the halls of Hogwarts. He needed to see Headmistress McGonagal and hoped that he could finally talk with the portraits of the late Headmasters Dumbledore and Snape. He had tried to talk to both of them after the one-year-anniversary of the victory over Voldemort, but the Headmistress wouldn't allow it.

Harry Potter needed closure. He had finished his first two years of is three-year auror-training programme – luckily the Ministry of Magic had awarded him his NEWT's without returning to Hogwarts and without sitting the exams. He had married Ginny - she had got pregnant before finishing her schooling during one of their victory celebrations. Ginny had finished her schooling, too, she had taken her NEWTs in the December before their son James was born – contrary to the Golden Trio she wasn't offered honorary NEWTs and she had to actually take the exams. Both boys had chosen to take the Ministry's offer and hadn't returned to Hogwarts, only Hermione had decided to return to school with Ginny to get proper NEWTs.

He was almost twenty years old and he had seen too much. He had lived almost eighteen years through the horrors Voldemort had burdened him with.

Harry's and Ginny's first child – their son James Sirius Potter – had been born in May 1999 – exactly one year after the war ended. Being parents wasn't easy for the young couple – they were only 18 and 17 years old after all. Seeing his young family, Harry wanted to learn more about his heritage – because he had never really known his parents. Sirius and Remus had told him much about his father, but he missed a true connection with his mother. And he wanted to know more about his mother.

He had seen Snape's memories of their childhood together, but seeing his most hated teacher's memories of his mother Lily, had aroused many questions.

For that reason Harry really wanted to talk to Severus Snapes picture. He wanted to thank him for his memories about Lily. But he also wanted to know, if there was more.

While he was in school, he had only heard the stories about his father James and his Marauders. Only through Snape's memories he really learnt about what kind of person his mother had been and he had learned things about his father he never really wanted to know – he really shouldn't have looked in Snape's pensieve during his fifth year.

Harry arrived at the Gargoyle which lead to the Headmasters office and realised that he didn't know Professor McGonagal's password. He couldn't even imagine what kind of password she would choose. Professor Dumbledore's passwords where always kind of obvious – you just tried all sort of sweets and got to the right one sometime. Professor Snape's password had shown Harry that he had truly been on the light side and Dumbledore's man all along – but Harry didn't believe "Dumbledore" could be used as password for over a year.

He asked the Gargoyle: "Would you please tell Headmistress McGonagal that I want to visit her in her office."

A minute later the Gargoyle and the staircases moved upwards and Harry was able to enter the office.

"Hello Harry, it is good to see you again. How can I help you?" the Headmistress greeted him.

"I would like to talk to the portraits of Dumbledore and Snape," Harry answered.

"It won't be a problem to speak to Albus, but there isn't a portrait of Severus yet. Filius Flitwick and I tried to figure that out for quite some time now, but we couldn't find an explanation. I'll leave the office so that you can speak to Albus. See you later," McGonagal said and left the room.

Harry walked over to face Dumbledore whose face twinkling and eating lemon drops – death obviously didn't change people. "Harry, nice to see you my young friend I am glad you are alive and succeeded in killing Lord Voldemort. You know my death was a necessary sacrifice for the greater good – there was a time when I believed you had to die as well to perish him. But luckily it wasn't necessary for you to die. You can be happy!"

Harry looked at the portrait in shock. He didn't know what to say. Dumbledore laughed at him and told him to be happy, because he didn't HAVE to die. He had realised when he saw Snape's memories, that Dumbledore was willing to sacrifice everything and everybody for his so-called GREATER GOOD.

"Hello Professor Dumbledore, it's nice to speak with you again. And I'm very happy to be alive. Ginny Weasley and I are married now. We have a son – James Sirius – he was born on the first anniversary of our victory over Voldemort. I'm also in my second year of the auror-training-programme." Harry told Dumbledore.

Dumbledore's portrait twinkled at him – that look had been disconcerting enough when the man had been alive, but it was even worse seeing his portrait do so: "I'm glad to hear that, my boy, you know everyone needs love in his life. And you'll finally have a family of your own. But you didn't come here to tell me about your marriage and the birth of your son – so why are you here, Harry?"

"I hoped to speak to Snape," Harry blurted out. "But Professor McGonagal told me there isn't a portrait of him yet."

"Well, I can imagine how important it is for you to speak to PROFESSOR Snape. And as he was headmaster here, everyone is correct to assume that he should have a portrait here, if he is dead." Dumbledore said mischievously.

"You said: "if" he is dead – as if his death was optional. I saw him die - he has to be dead. But still there is no portrait." Harry's voice became louder and louder, while he was speaking with the former Headmaster.

"In the Magical World almost everything is optional – our eyes can mislead us and magic can do more than most of us do believe. You believe that you saw him die, but did you see his body afterwards or did you attend his funeral?" The twinkling portrait of Albus Dumbledore told Harry.

Harry shrugged: "His body is missing. No one could figure that one out. We assumed that some rogue death eaters stole his body to prevent the 'traitor' from having a proper burial."

Albus Dumbledore looked at his former student thoughtfully: "If there is no body, how can you be sure, that he is really dead?"

"I...I can't. But where can he be, if he isn't dead?"Harry asked.

Dumbledore laughed: "Perhaps he is enjoying his freedom after almost twenty years of servitude. You shouldn't look for him - neither alive nor dead. He needs his peace to get closure."

Harry screamed: "But what's about me? I need closure, too. I need to speak to him to finally get this closure."

Dumbledore didn't answer. He just left his portrait and Harry stood alone in the headmistress's office. The door opened and Minerva McGonagal returned to her office.

"Are you aright Harry?" She asked him concerned.

Harry took a deep breath, before he was able to answer the Headmistress: "I think so Professor McGonagal, I'm just a bit confused. Dumbledore thinks Snape might still be alive and is hiding somewhere."

Professor McGonagal looked pensive: "It's possible. Severus' body was never found. And he wouldn't return here, because he wants peace and needs freedom. He had to serve two masters far to long. Perhaps he comes back one day."

Harry shrugged and left the office. He decided to take a walk. He had to think. He was looking for closure, but he couldn't talk to Snape to get it. Life was unfair – he didn't even know what to do with the memories Snape had given him. He had put them back in the vial and kept them – but they weren't his and if Snape was still alive he should have them back.

00000

After leaving the Headmistress' office Harry walked over the grounds of Hogwarts. He walked over to the lake – he had always enjoyed watching the squid and looking at the water helped him thinking. There he saw Luna Lovegood sitting on a blanket playing with two babies.

"Hello Harry, nice to see you again. What are you doing here at Hogwarts?" Luna asked him in her dreamy voice.

Harry was surprised - he hadn't expected to meet Luna Lovegood here at Hogwarts of all places. He stared at her and the babies for a moment before he answered: "Luna...I...I didn't realise you were here. I wanted to talk to the portraits of two of the late headmasters of Hogwarts. I was able to speak with Headmaster Dumbledore. But there isn't a portrait of Snape yet. I really need to talk to Snape, but he isn't here and there is so much I want to ask him and I need to thank him in person. I also want to apologise for antagonizing him and for my father. Dumbledore believes Snape might still be alive because there is no portrait of him."

Luna looked at him thoughtfully: "Harry – you'll learn the truth about what has happened to Snape when the time is right. You should leave the whole issue with Snape and his memories for now – you can't do anything about it anyway. If he's alive, he has to cope with his past and his own life first – he wouldn't be ready to deal with you and your problems. He will come back, if he's ready for it. If we are lucky, that will happen. Perhaps he decides to stay away forever, after all he went through."

"Do you think he is really alive?" Harry asked searching Luna's eyes for the truth.

"It's not important what I'm thinking, but I'm quite certain that Severus Snape is still alive. But I do also believe in Nargles – you know? It's your decision, if you believe me or if you don't." Luna answered shrugging.

Suddenly a teddy bear flew through the air and hit Harry's glasses of his nose. Harry looked around and saw the two infants playing. The twins both had ebony-black curly hair and large blue eyes. They were sitting on a blanket in the shadow of a big tree and were surrounded by toys. The babies had decided that toys were more fun floating around through the air. Seeing her children do this Luna started to chuckle.

Harry was shocked and picked up his glasses: "Who the hell are those kids? And by Merlin what are you doing with them?"

"These are my children. – This is my son Alexander" Luna pointed at her son, who was wearing blue baby robes, "and this is my daughter Selena." She indicated her daughter who was wearing a sweet little purple dress with fairies printed on it. "We are here at Hogwarts, because I am Professor Slughorn's apprentice and I'm working towards my Potions Mastery. When I get my master degree, I'll be the Potions Professor at Hogwarts. If you excuse me, I must go back to my rooms my children need to have their lunch and have to take their nap after that."

With these words Luna left poor Harry speechless. She packed her things and carried her babies back to the castle. Harry watched her and shook his head. When Luna was gone, he decided to leave the grounds and disapparated.

00000

Harry returned to the house he had built for his family near the Burrow – Ginny had wanted to be close to her mother, when she became mother at seventeen.

Ginny was just feeding little James when he entered their home. She looked up and saw her rather distraught looking husband: "Harry is everything alright at Hogwarts? Where you able to talk to Headmaster Dumbledore? Did you see Snape, too?"

Harry kissed his wife and his son's head before he began to speak: "I was able to speak to Headmaster Dumbledore – he wasn't really helpful. He seems to think that Snape is still alive as there is no portrait of him."

Ginny wrinkled her forehead: "Dumbledore thinks Snape's still alive? But you saw him die. How could he possibly be alive?"

Harry shrugged: "I'm at a loss. Luna thinks that Snape's alive, too?

Ginny looked at her husband in surprise: "Luna – as in Luna Lovegood? How would she know, if Snape's alive or not? And what's Looney Lovegood doing at Hogwarts?"

Harry sighed: "She is Slughorn's apprentice and will soon be the Potions Mistress there. I have no idea, why she believes Snape to be alive. You know her – she might be right..."

Ginny shrugged: "She might be not. You shouldn't get your hopes on something Looney says – she believes in all sort of weird stuff."

Harry nodded: "You're right Ginny. I just wanted to talk about my mother with Snape – he was her best friend for years and knew her better than I ever will."

Ginny hugged her husband: "Harry, we have a family now. Maybe, well, maybe you should let go of the past."

Harry sighed: "I don't know if I can."

James was now throwing his spinach at his parents, who obviously ignored him.

Ginny turned to her son and took his spoon: "No, James. You are not supposed to throw your food. Let's get you cleaned up and then it's time for your nap:" She took James out of his highchair and went to the bathroom.

Harry sighed – he was impatient – maybe he should go looking for Snape. He even knew where to begin – Spinner's End. He could visit the playground where his mother and Snape first had met – maybe he could get closer to his mum that way.

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Not being ready giving up his wish to talk to Snape, Harry decided to go looking for him. He apparated to Spinner's End a few days later – he even found the old playground where his mum and Snape had first met. The neighbourhood had even got worse over the past decades – the playground was only a ruin. He walked through the streets for hours, but he didn't find any trace of Snape's house. There was no magical signature – he was looking for the traces of magic with auror-tracking-spells. There were two possible explanations for that: either there had never lived a witch or wizard in this neighbourhood or a wizard had hidden his home with a Fidelius Charm and made it untraceable.

Harry sighed. Well, if Snape was alive, he obviously didn't want to be found. Harry decided to stop looking for Snape – he gave up – for now. He was young and could wait. And he was pretty certain that he would see Severus Snape again one day, if Luna Lovegood and Headmaster Dumbledore were right.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: The world of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling

A/N: I'm ignoring the epilogue.

**What are you living for?**

**By RawenclawBabe**

**Chapter 3**

**Ten years later...**

Severus Snape stood at the gates of Hogwarts grounds. For twelve long years he had been living in the muggle world. He had decided to return to the Magical World after twelve long years.

Twelve years had passed since he woke up naked next to infamous Luna 'Loony' Lovegood. She had saved his live and claimed she wanted nothing in return. He still saw her in his dreams. But she wasn't the dreamy-eyed student anymore that he remembered teaching six years at Hogwarts. No in his dreams she was an erotic, lascivious nymph. He didn't understand why he had sex dreams about this girl – no – this woman, but he couldn't get her out off his head.

He had been surprised, when he suddenly received an owl from Hogwarts' Headmistress Minerva McGonagal after all this time – he wasn't sure how she knew that he was still alive. She asked him to come back to the school and take the post as Headmaster again - she finally wanted to retire.

So Severus returned. It was 10.30 on the first of September in a few hours time there would be students flooding the castle.

He took a deep breath before he entered the grounds of Hogwarts. He had decided to return to a life that had hurt in any imaginable way. He had always loved magic, but he had seen the worst days of his life here at Hogwarts.

Severus walked slowly over the grounds and through the castle. He remembered the years of his life here at Hogwarts – first as a student later as teacher. Although he had been hated most of his time here – Hogwarts had always been his home.

As he stood in front of the gargoyle that lead to the staircase to the headmaster's office he met Professor McGonagal.

"Severus, I'm happy to see you again. It has been too long, you are a hero and it's good that you've finally decided to rejoin our world," she said smiling as she saw him. She was sincere, although she had hated him for killing Dumbledore, while he was Headmaster for the first time. He was the only person to become Headmaster of Hogwarts twice in the history of the school.

'She looks old,' he thought, before he said: "Hello Minerva, I didn't think I would see this old castle ever again."

"Well, we all thought you were dead for years. But then the Potters and the Weasleys saw you by chance while they were on holiday. They told me and I decided to write you. I know, Dumbledore was longer headmaster than I, but I really do feel old and want to retire. I couldn't find anybody suitable except you."

"So it is Potter's fault that I am here again. Well, perhaps you'd be interested to know – Miss Lovegood knew of me being alive all along – she rescued me after all. But anyway, I think it is a good idea to be here again. To be honest I missed Hogwarts and the students, as well as my colleagues."

"Well, Severus you might remember most of your colleagues now as your former students. And Miss Lovegood is here, too. She is the Potions Mistress." Minerva told him grinning.

Severus listened, when he heard the name Minerva telling him that Luna Lovegood was the Potions Mistress, he froze. The woman he had dreamt of for the last twelve years worked as teacher here and was a head of house. He would see her again. After a few seconds he caught himself and asked:

"Really, who are the other new teachers?"

"Neville Longbottom is the Herbology teacher and the head of Gryffindor house, Justin Finch-Fetchley teaches Charms and is head of Huffelpuff house, Millicent Bulstrode is our Transfiguration mistress and head of Slytherin and Luna Lovegood is – as I've just told you - our Potions Mistress and head of Ravenclaw."

"We'll meet the Heads of Houses at eleven in the teachers lounge. I'll introduce you to them as new headmaster. It would be best if we go there right away, we can order something to drink when then."

When they entered the teachers lounge, they heard voices.

"We should order champagne Luna's monsters aren't here now to disturb our meeting," proclaimed Neville Longbottom.

"I think you're forgetting something, Neville Longbottom, first they aren't monsters they are called Alexander and Selena, second they will be here again this evening at the Welcoming Feast." Millicent Bulstrode spoke in a calm voice. "And I wouldn't recommend you to speaking about the twins like that, when Luna returns. She doesn't like it, when one speaks ill about her children."

Justin Finch-Fetchley snorted: "You can talk, the two monsters like you for some reason. But we - Neville and I - usually are the victims of their pranks."

Minerva and Severus walked over to the other teachers and sat down. Severus asked: "Who are those monsters you are talking about?"

Millicent answered: "Those two don't like Luna's children. I for one really like Alexander and Selena, they are sweet and funny kids with a great sense of humour."

Neville snorted: "Funny and sweet is wrong for those mean little buggers. You can talk they didn't turn your hair green and blue and didn't levitate you through the teachers lounge."

Millicent answered: "Honestly they were just five years old when that happened and it was Justin's and your own fault that you two didn't watch your wands. They are very intelligent children."

"As long as they don't end in Gryffindor so that I don't have to spend more time than necessary with them, it will be okay for me. And as students they won't be allowed in here anyway." answered Neville.

Justin said: "The same is true for me - I don't want them in Hufflepuff. But I don't believe they would end in Hufflepuff or Gryffindor anyway. They wouldn't fit in either of our houses, Neville.

Minerva shook her head: "You three have been talking about the sorting of Luna's kids for years now. But betting for those two is quite boring anyway. All bets are either Ravenclaw or Slytherin. Well, hopefully Luna will return soon from Kings Cross, so that we can start our meeting. Why do Alexander and Selena want to take the train anyway, they've been here for the last two weeks, just like every summer since Luna is Head of Ravenclaw."

Severus laughed and the other teachers looked at him in shock. He shrugged and said: "I don't know Professor Lovegood's children, but I think they want to start their life as Hogwarts students like any other first year and not as children of a head of house. Isn't Luna a bit young to have children who already start Hogwarts?"

Minerva shrugged:"They are children of the victory. We have the largest first year this year. It's the largest class since 1801. And there have never been more students who only have a single parent. We get thirty first years who don't know their father, that never happened before in the entire history of Hogwarts. To be honest, I was shocked when I heard that a girl like Luna got pregnant with not only one illegitimate child but two. She doesn't seem the type to have sex anyway. Never mind..."

Severus looked impassive. Minerva's words reminded him of his dreams of Luna. He saw her as a sexual being, and he really didn't like the thought that she had sex with some other guy he didn't know. Well, honestly he didn't want to think about Luna with a guy he knew, too. He didn't want think about her having sex with anyone. She had always seemed so innocent. He had never thought it possible, that she out of all his students would get pregnant by one-night-stand at a victory party. After all she had looked after him and rescued him after the battle of Hogwarts. She seemed so familiar when he left the Wizarding World, when she kissed him goodbye, he really thought that she loved him. And now she had children of unknown origin.

00000

Luna brought her children to the Hogwarts Express. Selena and Alexander were really exited about travelling to Hogwarts with the other students. When they went through the barrier to platform nine and three-quarters they met the Potter family.

She didn't really have much contact with Harry Potter and his friends after the war. They had their own lives and she was busy with her children and teaching at Hogwarts.

Harry and Ginny seemed to be surprised to see her at the station, when they brought their own son James to the Hogwarts Express as if they hadn't known about her pregnancy and that her children were the same age as their oldest son.

James Sirius Potter was exited about finally going to Hogwarts – his father's godson who was also his best friend – Teddy Lupin had already been allowed to go there last year. James really hoped to be Gryffindor like his parents and grandparents, but his best friend was a Hufflepuff. His younger siblings Albus and Lily were jealous of him for going to Hogwarts, but they were both still babies, who had just started attending primary school.

Well, at least James wouldn't be alone, his Uncle Bill's daughter Victoire and his Uncle Percy's son Percy Jr. were both starting Hogwarts, too. But Victoire was a girl and Percy was a stuck-up git like his father. But James was really happy – his Dad had even given him his invisibility cloak and he had nicked the Marauders Map – life at Hogwarts would be so much fun.

Alex and Selena stood next to their mother, when she greeted the Potter family. Harry Potter and his wife Ginny seemed nice, especially considering that he had freed the world of the evil Lord Voldemort. But something about their son was different – James seemed to be rather obsessed with his father's fame. The Potters were the best after all.

James had heard from Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione that Luna Lovegood had been absolutely loony while they were at school – she was nice but a bit insane. He decided he couldn't be friends with her children – he was cool and they were only the bastard children of a weirdo. Hopefully they'd end up in different houses.

After their children had disappeared, neither Luna nor the Potters had any intention to talk for much longer. Luna had to return to Hogwarts – the new Headmaster wanted to meet the Heads of Houses after all and Ginny Potter had to get back home to her younger children Albus and Lily.

00000

Severus was somehow anxious to meet Luna Lovegood again – not that anyone would have been able to notice his anxiety – but he didn't know how it would be to see her again after waking up next to her naked twelve years ago.

While Severus was thinking, the door to the teachers lounge was opened and the Potions Mistress Luna Lovegood entered.

"Sorry, I'm late. I wasn't able to leave the platform nine three-quarters until eleven o'clock. You would think, that they'd never see me again, when you saw them at the train...," Luna said laughing.

"Let's begin," Minerva interrupted Luna's monologue. "First of all, I'm sure you all remember that today is my last day at Hogwarts and that Severus Snape here is Headmaster of Hogwarts now. Justin will be the deputy Headmaster. Second – you all have to check on your houses, we have more first years than ever before, in an average year there are about 40 first years, this year we have got 120 first years. This means we have as many first years as second through forth years. The common rooms had to be enlarged and additional dormitories had been added to each house."

Severus gasped: "Sorry Minerva that means the first years of each house have to be taught separately, and then we still have 30 students per class. Who is supposed to teach all those classes? The main subjects like Potions, Transfiguration, Charms and Herbology are all taught by the heads of houses. They already have enough work to do without two additional classes with four lessons per week."

"Thank you Severus," Minerva answered, "we have some new teachers as well. All the heads of houses have an apprentice this year. The apprentices started last year and will be teaching the first and second years. We have a meeting with all teachers at two pm. This meeting now is heads-business –headmaster and the heads of houses."

Millicent interrupted. "While we are speaking about the timetables anyway, then I have a question: Will I have time for the animagus-lessons with my apprentice and the seventh-years who chose it?"

"You are an animagus; Millicent?" Severus asked he hadn't known that fact about his former Slytherin student.

Instead of answering Millicent turned into a big brown bear and walked over to Luna, who stroked her. Then she walked over to Severus and put her paw on his leg.

Everyone in the room gasped, but Severus started to laugh, and startled the other teachers. Realising their surprise he only shrugged. Millicent returned to her seat and her human form.

"I think you'll manage your animagus class. Maybe your apprentice can also help you with your third years." Severus said.

"Do I get help with the medical potions for the infirmary as well? My apprentice isn't able to brew all potions yet." Luna asked.

Severus snorted: "That won't be a problem MISS Lovegood, if you remember I'm a Potions Master myself and I enjoy – let's say – recreational brewing, especially with all this paperwork I have to do as headmaster. So I think we should make a break here so that we can have supper and you can all inspect your common rooms."

00000

At three o'clock in the afternoon, after the teachers meeting, Severus excused himself from the others and followed Luna secretly to the potions lab in the dungeons. The door was open and he saw Luna standing in front of a row of cauldrons, she seemed to brew five potions at once. Severus knocked and entered.

"May I have a word with you Miss Lovegood," Severus said.

"Headmaster Snape, how can I help you? The potion are finished anyway, perhaps you could help me put them into vials while we are talking." Luna answered and smiled at him.

Severus sighed but helped Luna bottling her potions, they worked in silence for a few moments until he finally decided to speak: "Miss Lovegood, do you really think that you are capable being a head of house as a single mother?"

Luna laughed: "Honestly I've been single mother for eleven years now, I'm starting my eleventh year as potions teacher now, I've been a potions mistress for eight years and I've been head of Ravenclaw for five years. Do you think I'm not capable of being a head of house, because my children start Hogwarts today? Well, if you want to have another head for Ravenclaw please before the sorting, my children might be willing to be sorted into Ravenclaw then."

Severus was taken aback. "Your children don't want to be Ravenclaws because you would be their head of house? You must be a horrible mother!"

"No, actually they've told me they want me as their Mummy and not as their head of House. They think they would be worse off than the other students in my house. They would really love to have Millicent as their head of house, they adore her and they love the Slytherin colours – they've turned Justin's and Neville's hair Slytherin green for every Quidditch match till they were ten. That's why Justin and Neville don't like my children, so Hufflepuff or Gryffindor would be the worst option." Luna answered.

Severus started laughing:" I think, I might like your children, but I don't like the fact that I owe you a life debt. But I can't accept your lifestyle, it is irresponsible to be a single parent and a head of house – to have children of wedlock isn't accepted in our world – you could as well have a tattoo saying 'slut' on your forehead."

She touched his arm: "How can you say something like that? You know nothing about my life during the last twelve years – nothing at all. But don't worry, you don't owe me. Before I did the healing ritual I took an oath that you will never owe me a life depth and that you are free, because I don't expect anything from you, what you don't want to give. There is only one thing I want – I want you to give up your prejudices concerning me and my children."

"I have to go now," Severus literally stormed out of the potions lab. He didn't want to know, he just felt betrayed – even without having any form of relationship with Luna – hell he had to work with her, he was her boss now. He went to the headmaster's office and sat down. Minerva was busy packing her personal belongings and was only half aware that he rushed into the office.

Severus wasn't sure what he was doing. He had hurt Luna without intention – well, maybe he had wanted to hurt her a little bit because he couldn't get her out of his head for the last twelve years whereas she had forgotten him really fast. That hurt. Whenever he fell for a woman, she seemed to fall for someone else and did just forget about him.

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After Luna had finished the potions, she brought them to the infirmary. Afterwards she took a walk. She went to the lake and thought about her life. She loved her children. Selena and Alexander were the light of her lonely life. She had also loved Severus – she had saved, but he had needed her freedom and she was alone again but for her children.

She never had many friends - as student her peers had taunted her and called her foul nicknames – now she had her children and her colleagues, she had been happy till today. She was hurt, Severus' words had hurt her feelings – and now he was the headmaster and she had to see him every day – her life sucked.

Luna was sitting in the grass lost in thoughts, when suddenly the paw of a bear lay on her shoulder.

"Hi Millie, it's always good to see you. Shall I come back later? I would like to sit here for a while. Could you stay with me, I don't want to be alone". Luna asked sobbing.

Millicent shifted back into her human form and asked: „Luna, are you aright? I was worried when I saw you crying here".

Luna sighed and looked at her friend: "I'll get better I just had a discussion with our new headmaster. He thinks, I'm unfit to be head of house, because I've got children out of wedlock".

Millicent hugged Luna and told her: "You're kidding me. How can anybody think you an unfit Head of House – you're just great. He'll change his mind when he sees you with your children and with your Ravenclaws, they adore you. You're a great teacher, our students trust you with their problems. If you weren't a teacher here, we would need a school counsellor. Even Severus Snape will appreciate what you do for the school".

„Thank you Millie, when we were at school I'd never thought that possible, but you truly are a great friend. You helped me with Alex and Selena - they just love their Auntie Millie – you were always there for me in the last years when I needed a friend. I've never had many friends and I'm glad that you are my friend. I don't know how to thank you. Sorry for getting so emotional". Luna said crying.

Millicent smiled at her: „But Luns' you helped me as well. I love your children, they were so much fun. And you helped me reforming Slytherin – my house is now fully accepted by the other houses and not only seen as the residence of some death eater spawns and Lord Voldemort's party in Hogwarts. I couldn't have succeeded without your help. Snape just has to learn that Hogwarts has changed for the better and that the Wizarding World is modernizing itself. Hopefully one day we'll be all accepted as we are".

Millicent stroked Luna's hair, looked her in the eyes and kissed her on her lips. Luna gasped in shock. Millie used that chance and slowly entered her mouth with her tongue and deepened their kiss. When she realised that Luna didn't really kiss her back, she stopped.

"I'm sorry..." Millicent started, "I've these feelings for you and I've wanted to snog you for so long..." She cursed herself for misinterpreting Luna's signals. They had been friends for years and she had come to realise that she wanted more than friendship from Luna. Millicent Bulstrode was in love with Luna Lovegood.

But Luna interrupted her: "No, I'm sorry, it's just, I like you, I really do, but I just can't handle this at the moment. And no I don't want to talk about this. Let's forget it." She was really getting desperate – her best friend seemed to be in love with her and the man she loved was treating her like shit. Her life really sucked.

"Okay Luna let's get back to the castle, and I promise you, I won't kiss you again, if you don't want me to." Millicent said sadly. If she wasn't Luna's lover, she would forever remain her best friend. She had always known that Luna was in love with someone and seeing Luna's reaction to Snape, she was almost certain who it was. Hopefully Luna would forgive her – she hadn't expected to be snogged by her best friend after all.

The two women walked back towards in silence. In the castle their ways parted, as they had decided to go to their chambers to prepare for the evening and the return of their students.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: The world of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling

**What are you living for?**

By RawenclawBabe

**Chapter 4**

After Selena and Alexander Lovegood had entered the Hogwarts Express together with James Potter, the son of the war-hero was in a hurry to get away from the other two children. He was looking for his friend Teddy Lupin and joined him in his compartment.

It was their first ride on the Hogwarts Express. After being left alone by James Potter Alexander and Selena looked for a free compartment. When they weren't able to find one, they finally joined some other first years.

Alexander was tall and slim for his age he had his father ebony black hair and his mothers blue eyes. He had his father facial features, but luckily his nose was smaller than his father's one and unbroken, he mainly looked like a blue-eyed copy of the famous double-agent/ Potions Master/ Headmaster of Hogwarts Severus Snape, although he wasn't aware of that yet. He couldn't possibly know that, because he had never seen his father. He had read books about the war, but he usually preferred books without pictures – picture books were for small children, who weren't able to read properly.

Next to Alexander sat his twin sister Selena. She looked like her mother, but she had her fathers ebony black hair, too. There two other first year girls, who brought their cats with them to Hogwarts. The girls introduced themselves:

"Hi my name is Selena Lovegood but I'm mostly called Sele."

"I'm Isabella Taurus but you can just call me Bella. And this is my cat Lucifer." Bella showed them her black cat.

"My name is Susan Miller and this is my cat Rusty.

Selena said: "I love cats. I hope I can persuade my mum to get me a pet for Christmas. I would love to have a cat, too."

The girls were busy talking for most of the train-ride to Scotland. Alexander got bored – he loved his sister, but he couldn't stand listening to gossiping girls. He talked to the only other boy in their compartment – they decided to play exploding snap.

It was already dark when the train finally arrived in Hogsmeade. The older students directly went to the carriages which brought them to the castle.

"Firs' Year' ove' here...firs' year' ove' here" Hagrid called them. "Hello Alex an' Sele you wanted to com' t' school lik' the othe' students." Hagrid lead them to the boats. From the lake they saw the great magically illuminated castle.

When they arrived in the Entrance Hall the older students, who came to the castle with carriages, were already seated in the Great Hall, were they waited for the first years.

The new Deputy Headmaster stood in front of the Great Hall and greeted the First Years: "Welcome First Year, I'm Professor Finch-Fetchley. I'm the Deputy Headmaster and the Head of Hufflepuff. And I'll be your Charms teacher. Now we go into the Great Hall, it is the heart of the castle. In the Great Hall you'll eat, you'll learn and you'll meet your peers from the other houses. As you are so many students this year there will be hardly any chance to meet students from other houses in the classes, because each house will be taught separately. Speaking of the Houses, we have four Houses here at Hogwarts. There are Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Gryffindor and Slytherin. Each house has its own common room and dormitories. You can earn or lose points for your house. At the end of the year the house with the most points is awarded the House Cup. Now we enter the Great Hall and you'll be sorted."

120 little First Years followed Professor Finch-Fetchley into the Great Hall right through the middle aisle till they stood in front of the head table. Mostly they were squeezed between the Hufflepuff and the Ravenclaw tables. They didn't even all fit right in front of the Head table. The House tables also had been magically enlarged to offer place for all the students who were to be sorted in these houses.

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Severus Snape sat at the Head table and watched the older students in the Great Hall. They were waiting for their new classmates. He searched the rows of students for familiar faces – he had taught the parents of most of these students. He saw Teddy Lupin sitting at the Hufflepuff table – he had inherited his mother's talent and had decided to wear his hair turquoise.

Severus was glad that the son of the marauder Remus Lupin and the clumsy auror Nymphadora Tonks seemed to follow in his late mother's footsteps rather than his father's. Hopefully that would be true for everything else in life as well – perhaps being sorted in different houses could prevent the descendants of the original marauders from forming new marauders.

Finally the new first years entered the Great Hall. They were awed by the enchanted ceiling and walked slowly towards the Head Table.

When Severus saw the First Years standing in front of the Head table, he stood up and took a role of parchment.

"Welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry First Years. I am Professor Severus Snape and the Headmaster of this famous institution. Some of you have just entered the Wizarding world for the first time others have grown up here. You'll be here for seven years before you finally leave these halls as fully-trained witches and wizards. It doesn't matter if you are pureblood, half-blood or muggleborn, you all are here to learn..."

Alexander caught Severus eye - the boy seemed so familiar but he couldn't quite place him.

"When I'll call your name, you'll come forward and sit on this stool. Professor Finch-Fetchley will place the Sorting Hat on your head. The Sorting Hat will decide in which house you belong."

"Adams, Kimberly" - _Huffelpuff_

"Adamson, Juliet" - _Ravenclaw_

...

"Bullridge, Thomas" - _Slytherin_

...

"Carlson, William" - Gryffindor

Most of the students in the Great Hall weren't even paying attention to the Sorting Hat anymore. After about forty students had already been sorted, Severus called out:

"Lovegood, Alexander"

Snape was shaken when he saw the ebony-haired boy who seemed to be so familiar stepped forward and sat down on the stool. 'How is this possible Luna's son - she is blonde, well, he seems to have her eyes but he reminds me of someone I just can't place him.

"_Slytherin" _the hat exclaimed suddenly and Snape left his thoughts and had to come back to reality. He read the next name on his list:

"Lovegood, Selena"

Snape was taken aback when he saw the ebony-haired girl stepping forward. 'She looks like Luna. But she has the same dark hair as her brother. I just want to know where these two have got their hair-colour from – Luna is blonde after all and they are both dark-haired – must be a trait they've inherited from their father.'

And again the hat exclaimed: "_Slytherin_"

Severus didn't have time to ponder over the paternity of the Lovegood children, he still had a long list of names to read.

...

"Miller, Susan" - _Huffelpuff_

…

"Parkinson, Christopher" - _Slytherin_

"Potter, James" - _Gryffindor_

Severus Snape really considered resigning – his years as a student at Hogwarts had been haunted by the bully also known as James Potter – now the elder. He had been forced to teach his nemesis' son for six years. He had almost given his life protecting the brat Harry Potter. Another James Potter would be roaming the halls of Hogwarts and he was another carbon-copy of his grandfather – and this one didn't have Lily's beautiful green eyes, but brown ones like the other James Potter and the Weasley girl. Severus Snape would be forced to oversee the education of the third generation of the Potter family – and he hadn't even had the chance to have a family of his own, because he had been forced to protect the life of the son of the woman he loved, who had never loved him back. Life was unfair.

…_._

"Taurus, Isabella" - _Slytherin_

…_._

"Weasley, Percival Junior" - _Gryffindor_

"Weasley, Victoire"_ - Gryffindor_

Severus mentally groaned – he had taught all the Weasley children and now he was back as headmaster to see the next generation of the Weasley clan flooding Hogwarts. He was back at Hogwarts and he had to deal with Potters and Weasleys again – how would he survive?

"Woodworth, Gavin" _- Gryffindor_

When finally Zunna, Charles was sorted into Hufflepuff the whole hall erupted in applause. The Sorting had taken two hours and everyone was exhausted.

Severus was glad that the sorting of the new students was finally finished and said without further ado: "Well, since it is rather late, I'd like to give you a few word of advice: the dark forest is forbidden for all students and all items on Mr. Filch's list are forbidden – if you are found with any of those, you'll lose points and receive detention. Let the feast begin" and sat down as the food appeared on the tables. By now everyone was starved and tired.

After the meal the prefects lead their new house mates to their dormitories. Alex and Selena followed the Slytherin prefects to the dungeons - the password was "Cobra".

The prefect spoke: "You'll be together in five bed dormitories there are three rooms each for the first year girls and boys. The boys have their dormitories to the right – the girls to the left. You'll find your names on the doors – and your belongings are already there. Goodnight to you all."

James Potter was happy about being sorted into Gryffindor house. He and his new housemates gladly followed the Gryffindor prefect to Gryffindor tower – he could follow in his famous father's and grandfather's footsteps.

00000

The next morning Alex and Sele met their friends in the Slytherin common room and went up into the Great Hall to have breakfast. The first years were chatting animatedly when the head of houses started handing out their timetables. The twins greeted Millicent happily, and told her how much they liked being in her house. They were smiling and laughing together with their teacher for a few moments.

Professor Snape sat at the Head table and watched the whole scene. Luna's children seemed somehow special to him – he just couldn't figure them out. There was something else. They reminded him of Luna but also of someone else – but he couldn't quite place them. Especially the boy Alexander – he had only inherited his mother's blue eyes – reminded Severus strongly of someone – but whom? Honestly he was even thinking brewing an ancestry potion to figure out these children's parentage. But that would be difficult. He couldn't imagine that Luna would be okay, if he tried to take blood from her children. She seemed very protective concerning her offspring. Well, they wouldn't leave Hogwarts any time soon, so he had enough time to figure this mystery out.

Looking through the Great Hall Severus realised something else. Yesterday Luna and Millicent had been very close, they seemed to be really good friends, when he first met them in the teachers lounge – but now they ignored each other. What had changed? Severus shook his head and returned to reading his newspaper.

00000

The students were exited. It was their first full day at Hogwarts and they had just got their timetables. They were all busy reading them after their Heads of Houses had handed them out during breakfast.

"We have Potions first today," Alex told his classmates while reading his timetable.

"Well YOU MUST love Potions - your mother is the Potions teacher here. I bet you already now everything we are supposed to learn this year." Christopher Parkinson said chuckling.

"Anyway, let's get going;" Selena said and grabbed her friend's Isabella's arm.

The first year Slytherins left the Great Hall and went down to the dungeons to have their first potions lesson with Professor Lovegood, her new apprentice Thomas Reilly would be taking over the first and second year classes within a month, but she still had to teach them for herself for now.

Alex decided to sit next to his new friend Christopher, while his sister Selena chose sitting with her friend Isabella.

Luna came into the classroom, stepped in the front of the students and began to speak: "Welcome to your first potions lesson here at Hogwarts, Slytherins. I'm Professor Lovegood and the Head of Ravenclaw House. Potions are elementary in the Wizarding World. If you go to St Mungos or to any healer you'll get a potion to cure almost any form of disease. Before we begin to brew, I want which potions you already know, name them and their usage."

Almost all the hands went up.

"Yes, Mr. Parkinson"

"There is Veritaserum it is used by aurors to get the truth out of convicts."

"Correct, Mr. Parkinson. Five points to Slytherin. But you all need to know the usage of Veritaserum is strictly controlled by the ministry. And this particular potion is really difficult to brew. Perhaps you can name some potions we are going to work on this year."

A small, shy blond girl in the first row lifted her hand.

"Yes, Miss Millstone."

"There are sleeping draughts and the Pepper-up potion"

"Correct, five points for you, as well. Today we start brewing a simply Potion to cure boils. It needs only three ingredients, but you really MUST follow the instructions correctly. Potions is a dangerous art, a mistake can end deadly, if you aren't careful. The instructions are on the board." - Luna flicked her wand and the instructions appeared on the blackboard. - "You have forty-five minutes left to brew the potion. And I want everyone to brew his own potion no teamwork, I want to see your own abilities not those of your friends."

Luna sat down at her desk and started reading a potions magazine, its' title read: _Old Etruscan Potions – archaeological discoveries and new developments_.

After ten minutes Alexander and Selena finished their potions and filled samples in vials. Being bored they decided to start their own potions experiment. They picked some different ingredients and started to improve their boil cures.

"What do you think you doing?" asked Luna from behind her magazine when Alex added dragon scales to his mixture. Her son hadn't even realised that she had been watching him very closely.

"I'm experimenting to improve my potion, mum. I didn't know you were watching us." Alex answered.

"You decided to experiment in class because you thought I wouldn't realise what you are doing. Honestly Alex you know me all your life, when did you ever succeed in hiding from me?" Luna literally screamed at her son.

"Mhm, I ... I'm not certain" Alex stuttered. "Wh... Wh...What are you planning to do with me now, mum?"

"I'll talk to your head of house and the headmaster. Then we'll test your knowledge and abilities in potions – perhaps it would be better, if Selena and you take potions with another year" Selena flinched, "yes Selena I've seen what you were doing, too."

Selena started to argue: "But Mum, we want to stay with our friends."

Alex nodded: "Yes, we don't want to leave our class, maybe we could have some additional lessons with you."

Luna smiled at her children: "You know you would be bored."

Both children shook their heads and Alex said: "But Mum, we weren't bored today. We just wanted to have fun."

Sighing Luna told her children: "Experimental potions are dangerous – you are both aware of that. We'll talk to the headmaster – maybe he has an idea what to do with you. You don't have to constantly show that you know more than anyone else – your classmates could get jealous. So of you go."

Alex and Selena hurried to get to their next lesson with their friends.

00000

While the first-year Slytherins had Potions, the first-year Gryffindors had Herbology with their Head of House Neville Longbottom – who was the war-hero, because he had killed Lord Voldemort's familiar and horcrux the snake Nagini.

James Potter didn't like Herbology – why should wizard have their hands in dirt when they were able to use magic? It was disgusting. He didn't understand how the Head of Gryffindor could possibly teach a disgusting subject like Herbology. Couldn't there Head of House teach something cool – like Defence against the Dark Arts?

Although James Potter hated Herbology, he loved Hogwarts. He had already found friends in his house – Gryffindor was the best house of all. And their Head of House was a war-hero – even if he wasn't nearly as cool as his father who had defeated Voldemort.

Transfiguration was cool, too. James's grandfather and his friends had been Animagi. But the current Transfiguration teacher was Professor Bulstrode and he had been told by Uncle Ron that Slytherins were evil – Lord Voldemort had been evil and a Slytherin.

The Marauders were cool – they had been Gryffindors and the most popular students at their time. They had made the Marauder's map and had roamed the halls and grounds of Hogwarts at night.

James Potter wanted to be like his grandfather – he had his cloak and map and would become a Marauder, too. He had already found a few friends. Their time at Hogwarts would be fun.

The Gryffindors's second lesson was Transfiguration. They were sitting in the classroom and waiting for their teacher – when suddenly a large bear came into the room.

Someone screamed frightened.

James and his friends started to laugh.

Millicent Bulstrode transformed back into her human form. She stood in front of the class and started to lecture: "Welcome to your first Transfiguration lesson. I'm Professor Bulstrode, the Head of Slytherin House and – as you have just seen – a bear animagus. Transfiguration is a difficult form of magic. In the beginning of learning Transfiguration, we'll only transfigure inanimate object into other inanimate objects. Later we'll start transfiguring small animals – the animals we use will become bigger over the years. Only those of you, who will continue Transfiguration after your OWL's in your fifth year, will get a chance to learn the most complicated form of Transfiguration – the human transformation. I also offer special animagus lessons to my most talented NEWT-level students, who are interested in becoming an animagus. As you have seen I am an animagus. Every animagus has to be registered at the Ministry of Magic – there have been some illegal animagi." She looked at James Potter. "...But you need to be aware, that if an illegal animagus is caught – he gets send to Azkaban for three years."

James scowled. His grandfather and Sirius Black had been animagi – they had never registered their forms at the Ministry and that was good, because his father's godfather had been able to escape from Azkaban in his animagus form. And they had been able to become animagi in his fifth year and he wouldn't officially get a chance, if he didn't take NEWT-level Transfiguration. Although he knew, he could just follow his grandfather's example and becoming an animagus without professional instruction. At least he wouldn't have to deal with a Slytherin teacher becoming an animagus that way.

00000

Alex and his sister Helena really liked Charms, although Professor Finch-Fletchley didn't really like them. Well, they had played more than enough pranks on him and on Professor Longbottom when they were younger. But Charms was a great subject.

"Wingardium Leviosa, is an elementary spell for every witch and wizard. To cast a spell properly you need to speak the incantation and perform the right wand-movement. For this simple spell it's a swish and a flick. You will practice both elements of the spell independently before you can actually cast it. Let's begin training the wand-movement." Professor Finch-Fletchley lectured his first-year Slytherin class. They wouldn't really cast the spell during their first lesson – they should know the right wand-movement first.

The Lovegood children remained quiet during the Charms lesson. They already knew most of the spells taught in the first year, but they didn't want to appear as know-it-alls. They were rather like their parents, who had both been top of their class, but usually didn't show it.

At the end of the lesson the student hurried to get to the Great Hall – it was time for lunch.

00000

Luna Lovegood decided to talk to Millicent Bulstrode before lunch. They had been friends for years and one kiss wouldn't change that. And they needed to talk about Selena and Alexander, whose head of House Millicent was after all.

Millicent nodded and promised to talk to the Headmaster, but she thought it best, if they talked to him together – it was about the twins Potions lesson and Luna was the Potions Mistress.

Millicent sighed: "Okay, I'll ask the Headmaster for an appointment, but we'll go there together. I personally think that the twins want to remain in their class – you can only offer them additional lessons."

Luna smiled at her friend: "Thank you. Maybe I'm just anxious about being alone with the Headmaster."

Millicent smirked: "Well, I'd say you two have come quite close at one point in your past." Her smirk turned into a sad smile: "Much closer than you and I ever were and ever will be."

Luna eyes widened: "You certainly are perceptive."

The Slytherin female smirked again: "Not the answer I expected, but the meaning is the same, isn't it? It is rather obvious - especially when you look at Alexander. But I'd really like to know how it happened and how you knew, where he was so soon after the end of the war."

A laugh escaped Luna's lips and she winked at her friend: "Maybe I'll tell you one day. But it wouldn't be fair to Severus, if you knew while he doesn't."

Millicent's eyes widened: "Oh he doesn't know – this story gets better and better."

"Millicent, please promise me, you won't tell him. I need to tell him the truth about me saving him and our children myself. Swear it." Luna's exterior remained calm, although her friend noticed her nervousness.

Millicent sighed: "Okay Luna, but you could trust me anyway – are you sure you weren't sorted into Slytherin? I – Millicent Bulstrode – swear, I won't tell anyone about the paternity of Selena and Alexander Lovegood."

"Thank you, Millicent. Now it's time for lunch, let's go to the Great Hall." Luna took her friends arm and they walked to the Great Hall together.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: The world of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling

**What are you living for?**

By RawenclawBabe

**Chapter 5**

Severus Snape sat at his desk in the headmaster's office. He asked himself, why he had decided to come back to Hogwarts as Headmaster again. True, Hogwarts had changed since he was headmaster for the first time – Death Eaters teaching and torture as punishment for children had never been a good idea after all. But all this paperwork – he literally felt drowning in parchment. He really missed brewing, sometimes he even missed teaching – well, sometimes – hardly ever. True, he was a sadistic, cruel and strict teacher, who didn't want disobedience in class, but he liked teaching – he liked every time when he really reached his students – when he actually taught someone his subject. Of course most students didn't want to learn, but the few ones he could reach made his day. The others were just useless dunderheads – he had seen more than enough of them to last two lifetimes.

At lunch Millicent Bulstrode had asked him for an appointment – she wanted to speak about two of her first year Slytherins, who knew too much for the first year potions class and were bored.

At 5 o'clock Millicent and Luna arrived at the Headmaster's office – they had obviously worked out their problem and seemed to be quite close again. They explained to him, that they wanted to test the two students and put them in the potions class according to their knowledge.

Severus gave the two teachers bored look – he had enough to do as it was: "Millicent, Luna, I would prefer to speak to the students myself. Do you really want to separate them from their classmates?"

Luna answered: "It's only meant for their potions lessons, they would see their classmates in all the other subjects:"

Severus shook his head: "I don't see how we could integrate the potions lessons of a higher grade with their first year schedules. I want to talk to them myself and alone without you two telling me your preferences – if they say so, I'll give them personal potions lessons myself, since you Luna seem to dislike students with an extraordinary talent for our art so much."

Luna shuddered, Severus had obviously misunderstood their request – she didn't dislike her children – she loved the, thank you very much. And Millicent asked: "Do you think it wise to promise teaching students you don't even know so far?"

Severus scowled: "You should get them now – Professor Bulstrode – because I know they are Slytherins and I won't send the head of Ravenclaw to the Slytherin common room."

After Millicent had left his office, Severus looked at Luna. His piercing black eyes bored into her blue ones: "What's so special about those students who you want to leave your class?"

Luna shuddered and took a deep breath before she answered: "They already now the curriculum till third year. They are bored and started experimenting in their first lesson – it's too dangerous – they are a bad example for the rest of the class. That's the main problem – what if another student accidentally takes some of their ingredients and makes a cauldron explode?"

"You seem very confident, that THEY won't blow up cauldrons while experimenting." Severus observed smirking.

"Well, I know Alexander and Selena - they are very capable brewers and know which ingredients react volatile together." Luna answered.

"One could get the impression, that there is a major conflict between you and your children – first they don't want to be in your house – second they don't like your potions class." before Severus could say any more, Millicent entered his office accompanied by Alexander and Selena.

"Hello – so you are the two troublemakers who enjoy potion experiments." Severus said looking at the children

Alexander and Selena nodded shyly and looked at the floor. They didn't know the new headmaster and they weren't sure, if Snape was any fun. For all they knew, he could be as boring as Longbottom and Finch-Fetchley, and those two didn't like their antics.

"Well, your Professors have told me their ideas concerning you and your potion lesson – but I want to speak with you Miss and Mr. Lovegood – so please sit down," he indicated the two chairs in front of his desk, "so that we can talk. I'll inform Professors Lovegood and Bulstrode later about your decisions."

He dismissed the two teachers and looked closely at the children. They were staring at the floor in front of his desk- suddenly they seemed to be rather shy.

Looking at the boy and the girl sitting in front of him, Severus said: "So you are Alexander and Selena Lovegood – the children of Luna Lovegood. By the way I'm not on the floor - look at me, when I'm talking to you."

They looked up and met his eyes. Now they were watching him through their perceptive blue eyes – so much like Luna's own. They seemed to look far away and x-ray him simultaneously – it was rather disconcerting. Both of them truly had their mother's dreamy blue eyes, which were perceptive even though they looked completely lost in thought

00000

Luna was nervous when she left the office: "What do you think they will talk about? She asked Millicent with shaken voice – she was worried, Severus didn't know about Alexander and Selena being his children, could he possibly learn the truth when he saw them so closely.

"Calm down, let's go to the teachers lounge and have a cup of tea. You can't storm back in there while they're talking. He won't eat them – you know, he always liked Slytherins." Millicent carefully touched Luna's shoulder and let her away from the headmaster's office.

"But he'll hate me, if he figures out the truth. I don't want him to hate me." Luna wasn't herself anymore. She had always remained calm, even when her things were stolen while she was a student. But she couldn't remain calm now.

Millicent sighed: "Stop it – you aren't yourself anymore. Where has the dreamy-eyed calm woman gone?"

Breathing deeply Luna regained her composure: "Thank you, Millicent. Severus will learn the truth about Selena and Alexander, when it is the time for him to know."

Millicent laughed lightly: "You've always had great wisdom – maybe you should switch to Divination."

Luna shook her head: "I'm perceptive and see more in the world than most people, but I don't have the Sight. There are only very few prophets and true prophesies. I'm already were I'm supposed to be – if I'm supposed to change, I'll know."

00000

After watching the two first-years for a few moments, Severus cleared his voice and asked them: "Have you any idea why your mother and your head of house think, you shouldn't be in the first year's potions class?"

Alex looked Severus directly in the eyes and said: "We don't know why our mother doesn't want us in this class, but we both would prefer to stay there with our classmates."

Selena nodded: "Yeah, we want to stay with our friends. If we are taken out of the potions class, they will abandon us because we get some special treatment. I for one don't want to be like mum was as a student – she hardly had any friends."

"Yes," agreed Alex, "we want to be treated like any other student – but it would be great, if we got additional potion lessons were we learn the interesting stuff."

Snape watched them closely – they didn't want to be separated from their classmates, they were afraid of losing their new friends. They looked at him nervously. Severus understood these feelings, when he was a student he had only one real friend – Lily Evans – he was desolated when he lost her friendship after he called her 'mudblood' in their fifth year.

Snape started: "Well, I personally think you should stay in class. We can talk about the extra lessons with Professor Lovegood. The problem is your mother is rather busy with her classes and her apprentice – she has hardly time to give you additional lessons. But I have already another idea – we'll talk about it, when Professors Lovegood and Bulstrode have returned. By the way – how did you try to change the boil cure potion?"

Alex answered proudly: "I added dragon scales to improve the potion. They work as a catalyst so that the potion works faster."

Snape raised an eyebrow at this statement and asked: "Well, if you ingest your 'improved' potion, you wouldn't have boils any more – but don't you think the side effects are too drastic? The added dragon scales would produce red pustules all over the body."

Selena answered this: "Well, you can always counteract this side-effect, if you add camomile and daffodil roots."

Severus was rather impressed, he smirked at them and said: "I see. I think additional potion lessons would do you good – you both seem to have the potential to become potions masters and mistresses. You mother should be proud of you, that you both decide to follow in her footsteps. Although it's rather difficult to explain why anyone would improve a simple, cheap potion with such expensive ingredients – and it only works faster afterwards."

Severus bit his tongue – he never showed students, that he was impressed with their knowledge or work and he hadn't planed on doing it now. Of course Alexander and Selena were intelligent, had talent for potions and were Slytherin, which were qualities he respected – but they were the children of Luna Lovegood and that seemed so wrong. He sat here talking to her children, while he had erotic dreams of her every night – he hardly could look her in the eyes, he was afraid she'd realise how he felt.

He used his patronus to summon the Professors back to his office.

Severus shook his head: "You can go now. You'll be contacted for your extra lessons, but you stay in your potions class. And now hurry up- you wouldn't want to be late for dinner."

Severus watched the children leaving his office. His life really sucked – first his classmates had procreated and he had to teach their offspring (mainly meaning the Potter spawn) and now there were the children of his former students attending Hogwarts. He had the feeling, he himself never would have children, who could follow his example and become extraordinary Potions masters. When he was a teenager he had always dreamt of having a family of his own with his beloved Lily, but in the last twelve years it was always Luna in those dreams. He was always too late – there was always someone else first. Well, at least Luna wasn't married...

While he sat there thinking an emergency owl from the ministry arrived. He was to meet the school board the same evening. Severus groaned – what on earth could be that urgent? He looked at his pocket watch and saw that he didn't even have time for dinner before going to the Ministry of Magic.

00000

Severus went to the emergency meeting of the school board at the ministry. That was one of the moments he hated being headmaster – school politics – some dunderheads who hardly knew anything, making decisions about his students and his school. He was sure, that some of them didn't even know children at all.

He apparated to the ministry and went straight to the Office of Schooling and Education. There he met his former student Draco Malfoy. Draco looked almost exactly like his father Lucius, except he didn't carry a cane. He had taken over his father's positions at the Ministry of Magic, on the board of School Governors and his seat in the Wizengamot. Lucius had officially decided to retire from politics after the war – he had left the Malfoy Manor in Wiltshire to Draco and was currently residing in their family's manor in the south of France.

"Uncle Severus, good to see you again. I see you received our owl. You'll have a lot of extra work at Hogwarts through the Minister's decision. But let's get inside first"

"Draco – you know I hate these meetings – we already have enough work at Hogwarts, it's a school and our main purpose is to teach children. I bet, most of those dunderheads here at the ministry have no idea how to handle a child – if they have children, they are raised by house elves and when they are eleven, they'll be send to Hogwarts." Severus said icily and glared at his godson.

Draco shook his head and laughed: "Hey, I loved our house elves, when I was a kid – you know mum and dad were always busy – and Scorpius loves his personal house elf Nipsy, they have so much fun together – you can't expect the parents to do all the work. But Astoria and I try to see our son at least once a day – so don't worry."

Severus just shook his head. He had always wondered how he of all people could be so close to the first year Slytherins, when he was their head of house – well it was apparently obvious, he was closer to them and saw them more often than their own parents.

Draco and Severus entered the conference room. Severus was curious what on earth could be so important to require an immediate meeting of the school governors. He sat down, but before the meeting began the Minister of Magic Emilius Duddely entered accompanied by his Percy Weasley.

Weasley immediately started handing out parchments and Minister Duddely began to speak: "Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I've asked for your attendance today because I have important news for the Wizarding World. I wanted to talk to the Hogwarts' board first, because our decisions will have direct consequences for the school and the student body."

Severus shuddered. The last time the Ministry's decisions of utmost importance for Hogwarts and the entire Wizarding World it lead to the discrimination of muggleborns and the ban of muggleborn students from Hogwarts, when Voldemort was at power. He truly feared that life was about to take a very ugly turn again.

But Duddely continued to speak: "Mr. Weasley has handed you a parchment with our plans. We have realised an enormous increase of the number illegitimate children in our world. Almost one third of this year's first years were born out of wedlock with unknown parentage. So we have found a solution for this problem. We've decided to magically check the ancestry of all students of unknown parentage. We'll do the same for all muggleborn students- this is necessary for our new research project at the ministry, we want to prove, that all muggleborn witches and wizards have magical predecessors somewhere in their ancestry."

Severus was shocked, this was madness. The ministry wanted to do paternity tests for hundreds of children, and doing that, they wanted to show, that „muggleborns" weren't truly of descended from muggles. _'Well that proves it', Severus thought, 'to become Minister of Magic you must go completely nuts. Well, I've always known that politicians are insane. How happy my life could have been, if I hadn't known my father Tobias.'_ He could only shudder and shake his head at these thoughts.

Percy Weasley said: „If you please all would look at the second parchment now, we can show you the rest of our programme and the new law".

Severus looked at Weasley and raised an eyebrow – there was more to it, as if the minister's plans weren't bad enough so far.

Duddely nodded and said: "Yes we are going to publish our new law. As soon as the children's parentage is known, their parents are required to marry each other, though that their children can grow up in a family with both father and mother."

Severus closed his eyes and pinched his nose. _He thought: 'Well, obviously it can even get worse. If they start killing people for some insane reasons, these politicians might get as bad as the Dark Lord. Merlin, I hope that isn't the next point on their list.'_

"... This law will be officially published in the Daily Prophet in a fortnight. We'll have a press conference at Hogwarts, when we start the tests. I'll attend the procedures in person. - Headmaster Snape, we need you and your staff to brew the ancestry potion for at least two hundred tests, the potion should be ready in a fortnight, we'll officially do these tests in public and documented through the ministry and the press. - That's everything for tonight. We'll see each other again at Hogwarts. Good Night."

The Minister hurried out of the room and Percy Weasley followed him right on his heels.

Severus bid the board of School governors good night and flooed back to Hogwarts.

00000

After he returned from the meeting at the Ministry of Magic, Severus decided to get a snack from the kitchen before returning to his chambers. He tickled the pear and entered.

It was already after curfew and Severus was surprised to see James Potter just disappearing under his invisibility cloak.

"Accio invisibility cloak", Severus summoned the boy's cloak. That particular piece of clothing had haunted him when the first James Potter and Harry Potter had used it. "Mr. Potter, it is after curfew – you seem to have inherited the unfortunate trait to constantly break the rules - from your father and grandfather. Your cloak is confiscated and 100 points will be taken from Gryffindor. You'll have detention every night for the next month with Mr. Filch."

James Potter scowled at Professor Snape, Uncle Ron had told him how horrible that man had treated the Gryffindor students while they were attending Hogwarts: "But the cloak belongs to my family – it was my father's and grandfather's – you can't take it from me..."

Severus raised an eyebrow at the insolent little brat: "Well, well, well, Mr. Potter. You really need to learn some manners – I'm the Headmaster of this institution, you'll address me with Headmaster, Professor Snape or sir."

James's scowl deepened: "My father is a war-hero you can't treat me like this..."

Severus snorted: "Mr. Potter – your father wouldn't have survived this war, if it wasn't for me. Your father might have killed the Dark Lord, but he wouldn't have survived his first year, if I hadn't constantly been saving his life. So it would be appropriate for you to say thank you."

"My father will hear of this," James was really furious with Snape now, who only thought that the boy was worse than Draco at his worst.

Severus smirked: "Of course, he will. I'll owl him myself and he can take the cloak home. If I see you with it again during the next seven years at this school, I'll burn it and you'll be expelled. Am I understood?"

James was still scowling, but he didn't say anything against the Headmaster anymore – he could burn the cloak right now after all: "Yes, sir."

Severus nodded: "Mr. Potter, you'll return to your dormitory immediately. If I catch you out after hours again, you'll see how strict I truly am."

James Potter hurried to get out of the kitchen and returned to Gryffindor tower. Uncle Ron had been right Professor Snape was a mean arsehole. He would get back at him for that.

Severus was completely exhausted – as if the meeting with the Minister and Board of Governors hadn't been enough for one evening, no he had to run in that insolent little brat Potter in the school kitchen.

Back in his quarters he called a house elf to bring him food, meeting Potter in the kitchen had caused him to forget why he went there in first place – he was hungry. The evening had been stressful enough and he decided that he needed a large glass of fire whiskey and a hot bath. At least he wasn't tortured – meetings with Voldemort had always included being crucioed – that was the main difference to normal political meetings.

00000

Severus sat at the Head Table the next morning, drinking a large cup of coffee. He hated politicians, he literally loathed them. Most politicians were worse dunderheads than the average students. Well, students like James Potter were as bad as the politicians he had to deal with yesterday. And he still had to write a letter to Harry Potter. He groaned.

"You look tired Headmaster," Luna greeted him. She had so much spirit, whereas he felt like the world would collapse and bury him.

"Well, I had an awful evening yesterday. I had to meet the school board and the minister. I can only tell you our current Minister of Magic is completely insane." Severus said looking in Luna's dreamy blue eyes.

She shrugged: "Politicians – remember what Umbridge or Fudge - insanity seems to be a job requirement, if you want to go into politics."

"Says the daughter of the late editor of the _Quibbler_;" said Severus smirking at Luna.

She laughed;"Well of course, but one – my father is still alive - and two - there is always someone worse. My father might write about magical creatures, whose existence is still unproven, but compared to some politicians – he is quite sane. So what did our 'dear' minister want?"

"Believe me it gets worse. He presented his new project. He'll come to Hogwarts and we'll have to do paternity tests for all students who were born out of wedlock. We both have to brew ancestry potions for at least two hundred tests, because they want to check the ancestry of our muggleborn students as well."

Luna choked her coffee and stated coughing: "Whatever for?"

Severus shrugged: "The minister thinks that all muggleborns must have wizards or witches somewhere in there ancestry. As for the illegitimate children, he thinks they need proper families, so this project is combined with a marriage law – madness if you ask me, I'd wished, I hadn't known MY father, after all he did to my mother and I."

Luna was shocked, she had to do something. She had to tell him the truth – but how? What was she to do? How could she tell him without hurting him to much and without hurting their children?

Severus tried to read Luna's expression, but he wasn't sure what he saw - was it fear? She seemed to be in shock and didn't realise what happened around her. He started to speak again: "We need to discuss our schedule to brew the ancestry potion. We need the two hundred doses in a fortnight."

Luna shook her head: "In a fortnight? Why do we need so much of this potion so soon?"

Severus answered: "The minister, the board of governors and the press will be all here in a fortnight to officially attend these tests. The children's parents, if they are both still unwed, must marry in the month after the tests. The minister wants every child to have a 'proper' family. As if all those children are happy, with their parents in loveless marriages. The minister's programme is to insure the moral standards of our society - all the old wizard families are behind it."

Millicent watched her two colleagues:"Well, if all the old families are for this programme, nobody will stand a chance against it. The old pure-blood families have the majority of the seats in the Wizengamot and you only get a seat there through heritage or merit – it's the reign of a few - a classical oligarchy. If you want to become Minister of Magic, it suffices to buy the majority of members of the Wizengamot. It's sad, when you think about it, most of the wizards and witches in this country have no influence on the politics and the best way to get political influence is money."

Severus looked astonished at Millicent: "I don't believe it. How can you know that much about politics?"

Millicent started to laugh: "One – I'm Slytherin, two – my family always was into politics and has a seat in the Wizengamot, three – my parents always valued political and historical education. Speaking of history, you really should get a new history teacher, Binns doesn't even cover Grindelwald and Voldemort, and how shall our student's learn, that they shouldn't follow a dark master, when they don't even cover them in their history lessons. How shall they learn not to repeat historical mistakes, if they don't even learn about them in school?"

Now all the other teachers stared at Millicent Bulstrode. Most of them knew, that she had never followed Lord Voldemort and that her family, albeit being Slytherins, never were Death Eaters. She had changed Slytherin house, when she became head of house – she taught the students of her house about the mistakes former Slytherins made by following Grindelwald or Voldemort – she wanted them to understand, that they needn't repeat their mistakes, even if they had relatives who were Death Eaters. She had truly succeeded in reforming Slytherin House.

Severus shuddered: "Binns wasn't a good teacher when I was a student and I've always wondered why he wasn't replaced – maybe budget problems. I'll check our budget, if it allows me hiring another teacher. I'll look for a new history of magic teacher."

He looked from Millicent back to Luna and asked:"Luna do you have an idea what you want to do now? The law affects you and your children. And I don't want to lose you as a teacher, because you are getting married to some stupid guy, who doesn't accept that his wife works. You could always marry before that stupid test, so you won't be subject to that stupid law."

Luna started coughing to hide her laughter. Severus had no idea, who she would have to marry.

"Are you okay?" Severus asked worried about her reaction.

"I nearly chocked my coffee, when you told me I should marry before I'm affected by that stupid law – but otherwise I'm okay. And I wouldn't know, who I should marry now – my children don't like the idea of me dating, they would go ballistic, if I marry anyone without asking them first. And trust me, you don't want my children as your enemies – they can be quite nasty, if they dislike someone. And even if I don't get married before the test, you'll have to fire me - because I won't quit teaching here and I don't believe any husband of mine would want that." Luna answered smiling, but her smile didn't reach her eyes. _'Merlin,' she thought, ' I must tell him – but how will he react, when he realises that he is the guy I have to marry. When I don't tell him before the paternity test he won't talk to me ever again – THAT would be a great basis for a marriage – I hope, he'll look after the children, if he kills me. ….Merlin, I'm going nuts...'_

Severus looked puzzled and Millicent started laughing. Severus had a distinct feeling that Luna was hiding something, she tried to seem happy and unconcerned – but there was something underneath.

Severus smirked at her and said: "Well, if you are worried, you could always marry me before the law is enacted."

Luna looked at him surprised: "Did you just propose, Severus?"

Severus smirked at his shocked Potion Mistress smiling mischievously: "I think I did. But you didn't answer."

Luna looked at her watch and said: "If you would excuse me please, the first lesson starts in ten minutes. I'll see you later." She stood up from here seat and quickly left the Great Hall. If she had gone any faster, she would have been running. The conversation with Severus had taken an interesting turn – she wasn't ready to go there yet. She loved him, but she couldn't marry him under false pretences.

00000

Luna didn't even realise how the day passed by. She held her lessons completely unaware what she was doing. She just couldn't concentrate, and whenever she thought about Severus she panicked. She was exhausted and almost didn't realise, when she dismissed her last class for the day.

Luna Lovegood was desolated. This new ministry programme was a catastrophe. She had to tell Severus – he would find out anyway, the ministry had mad sure of that – but she had to tell him in person or he'd never trust her again. He didn't know how she saved his life twelve years ago. She would have to tell him, if the stupid ministry law came through, they would have to marry. But how could she tell him? Suddenly she had an idea – a pensieve – she would put her memories of his rescue and the ritual in a pensieve and show him what had happened. That was the easiest way, he only could remember waking up naked, she would show him the context.

Luna hoped he could accept it, if he knew the whole truth. She knew, her children needed their father, but she never was good at relationships. She had still contact to her friends from D.A. Ginny, Harry, Ron and Hermione. But they were all married with children and didn't have much time for the single mother Luna whose children were older than their own.

When she started teaching, she somehow became best friends with Millicent Bulstrode. They were both young teachers and both were isolated from their colleagues at the beginning – Luna as single mother and Millicent as Slytherin with unclear loyalties – they started talking and Millie really adored Alex and Sele. Millicent was her best friend, beloved aunt of her children and babysitter. But the relationship between the two woman became very difficult recently – the kiss – Millicent fancied Luna.

Luna was at a loss. She didn't know how to cope with this situation, she was neither attracted to women nor did she believe relationships between colleagues could really work out. She had tried dating when the twins were five years old. Neville Longbottom, who had fancied her for a long time, asked her out.

They had started a relationship, but the twins literally hated Neville. Her children changed his hair colour every time they saw him – Sele and Alex preferred Slytherin green or silver. When they finally tried to poison him – they were very adept at potions as soon as they were allowed near a cauldron – they'd come to the conclusion that would be the best option to get rid of him forever. They were seven and didn't want to share their Mummy, well at least not with Neville. They mainly wanted to scare him away from Luna – it took them two years to succeed. Luna had to realise then, that she needed her children's acceptance, if she ever wanted to have a relationship with a man again.

She took her pensieve out of her closet and began to select her memories – how she saved Severus, how she cared for him and how she healed him with the ritual. Luna put her memories in the pensieve and wrote a short note.

She was thoughtful, and after a second she decided to floo to her family home to bring the book were she found the ritual to Hogwarts. She put in a marker at the right page.

When everything was finished she called a house elf to bring the pensieve, the book and the note in Severus' office and put it on his desk while he was at dinner. Then she left for dinner herself.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: The world of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling

**What are you living for?**

By RawenclawBabe

**Chapter 6**

During dinner Luna sat next to Severus in silence. She could hardly remain calm, because she was so nervous. She knew, he would find the pensieve with her memories, how their children were conceived, in his office. Severus would see her memories – she was embarrassed and felt herself colouring at the thought. She was too anxious to talk to him now. She didn't even realise, that he was already talking to her.

"POFESSOR LOVEGOOD!" Severus literally screamed at her and she snapped out of her reverie and looked at him. He had been talking to her for the last five minutes and she hadn't reacted – when he finally had her attention, he continued to speak: "Professor Lovegood, Luna, I was asking you, if you have enough of the necessary ingredients for the paternity potions the ministry wants us to brew."

Luna shook her head: "Hardly, we need some pretty rare ingredients and we need at least 200 doses of the potion. We need almost two litres of dragon-blood for this amount of potions, which is the amount for two school years. If the ministry doesn't restock our stores, than we can't teach our NEWT-level Potions classes properly. Who is supposed to pay for all the potions?"

Severus shrugged and raised an eyebrow at Luna: "Well, I suppose, the ministry's plans didn't include the costs for their whole project. I'll owl the ministry, to ask them for the necessary ingredients, otherwise they'll have to bring the potions for their tests. Our school budget doesn't cover paternity potions so far. It's normally a master level potion that isn't covered by our school curriculum."

Luna nodded. She didn't really want to speak to Severus about paternity tests, because that topic embarrassed her at the moment. To get out of the discussion she excused herself: "If you'd excuse me now Headmaster, I have some potions for the infirmary to attend to. Goodnight Severus."

Severus smirked – he noticed that Luna was rather preoccupied: "The normal work of the potions master. Goodnight Luna:"

Luna stood up and left the Great Hall – her nervousness increased constantly. How would Severus react, when he saw her memories? Maybe she should just take her children and leave Britain forever – although it wouldn't help fleeing to the continent – Europe seemed suddenly too close and too small. Where would she go?

Oblivious about Luna's worries, Severus finished his meal and left as well.

00000

Severus went into his office. He wanted to write the letter to the ministry before he retired for the night. As he stepped into his office he saw a pensieve standing on his desk with a note attached.

The note said: _Severus. Please watch these memories. You'll learn an important truth through my memories. Please forgive me L._

Severus was surprised. He had recognised Luna's handwriting and the 'L' was rather obvious. Why on earth had Luna given him a pensieve with her memories? When he saw the book about ancient healing and fertility rituals lying next to the pensieve, he was suddenly very disconcerted. He shook his head. What on earth was going on?

He realised, that he wouldn't write a letter to the minister that evening. He needed to know, what was going on and had to find out, what kind of memories he was supposed to watch. What memories had Luna put in the pensieve and how was this book connected to them?

Severus took out his wand and watched the memories.

00000

_He saw himself lying in a pool of his own blood in the Shrieking Shack. He was dying. He had used a bezoar to stop Nagini's venom, but his blood was streaming out of the wound on his neck. It was very disconcerting for Severus, seeing his own death – well he hadn't really died, but had come close - through Luna's eyes._

_Then he saw Luna coming closer. She seemed to be fighting back tears and apparently she thought him dead, because he heard her say: "I'm so sorry that I couldn't help you Headmaster Snape, sir. You are a hero. I'm so sorry that you never experienced happiness for yourself, because the love of your life fell for someone else. Rest in Peace Severus Snape, I hope you find love and happiness in your next life." _

_Severus was shocked seeing this memory. He still remembered waking up out of his coma, but these were Luna's memories of her rescuing him – he would finally learn how he had ended at Luna's manor that day. He was also surprised of the emotions in her eyes – her eyes were so honest, there was a deep sadness and concern for him._

_He watched Luna and saw her stroking his pale face. When she touched him, he saw his memory-self gasp. He was only unconscious. When she realised, that he was still alive, Luna became very active. She started searching his robes and found some potions vials. She fed him his potions, and his wounds started to heal. When he had gained some colour, Luna apparated them away._

_The surroundings changed, Severus recognised the house – it was where he had woken up some time after the battle – it was Luna's house._

_Luna called Sunny and Moony. The house elves took Snape to the master bedroom and Luna went into the potions lab. It was still fully stocked with many viable ingredients. Luna took a cauldron and started brewing. Severus was impressed by her potions lab, he remembered, that her mother was into charms and potions research, but he didn't expect a lab like that, since Luna's mother had been already dead for almost a decade then._

_He didn't really recognise the potion Luna was brewing. When she was finished, she went to the bedroom, where he was lying on the bed and told his unconscious form: "I have brewed a special healing potion for you, sir. It's an invention of my late mother. I hope it works with your injuries."_

_She poured the potion into his mouth and he swallowed it. Instantly his heartbeat and his breathing became better and he looked healthier. She watched him and said, while stroking his hair: "If the potion works correctly for your injuries, you should be waking any moment now, sir." But there was no sign of him waking up and she sighed._

_The next memory was of Luna researching. She didn't put every memory of his time at her house in the pensieve, she obviously selected those she thought the most important. Severus was really surprised, when he saw how affectionate she looked after him – nobody had ever shown him so much concern. She seemed so desperate to find a way to help him. Finally, she found something - he recognised the book - it was the same lying next to the pensieve on his table. He looked over her shoulder and to figure out what she was reading. Severus' eyes narrowed as he read the information in the book:_

"_...The blood of a virgin binds the soul to its body. The incantation calls the spirits of the earth for help. This ritual requires certain sacred conditions to work properly. _

_1. The ritual has to be performed on the soil, in direct contact to mother nature. _

_2. No form of contraception is allowed, as nature must be able to flow freely during the ritual. _

_3. If a child is conceived during the ritual, it may not be abort, because it is sacred by nature...this ritual uses the same potion as the fertility ritual (p. 492), which is used as cure for infertility as it helps to conceive, even if one partner is barren..."_

_Severus shook his head, he was shocked. Did Luna really use that ritual knowing that the potion used, not only was an aphrodisiac but a fertility potion?_

_The memory changed again and Severus saw Luna preparing the potion for the ritual, while she told the house elves to prepare the ritual spot. He realised, she really was brewing that potion – a mixture of aphrodisiac and fertility potion. _

_A realisation struck him. Alexander and Selena, her children, were conceived in this ritual – he was the father of two eleven year old children and he had never known. _

_He remembered the strange sensation, when he first saw them at their sorting – they seemed so familiar, but he couldn't figure out why. He knew that he was in her memory, but one part of him wanted to scream at her throttle her. He wanted to ask her what she was doing and if she was even thinking. _

_Severus finally thought he'd lost it, when he saw Luna taking an oath. This girl was mad. Why would she sacrifice her virginity and risk becoming pregnant to rescue him of all people? Why would she want nothing in return? _

_Severus saw her affection, how lovingly she cared for his unconscious form. It felt strange. He was surprised when he saw Luna snuggling to him on the bed. She kissed him and was really affectionate. She showed him so much love – no one had loved him like this before._

_The next memory was about Luna collecting the final ingredients from him – his hair and blood. She went into the master bedroom and took a silver dagger from her robes. She apologized for hurting his comatose self._

"_Sorry Severus, but I need a bit of your blood for your potion as well as some of your hairs."She cut off a lock of his ebony coloured hair with the silver dagger. After that she took his left hand in her left hand and cut in it. She caught his blood in an empty vial then she took her wand and healed the cut. With these ingredients she went back to the potions lab in the cellar. There she cut off a lock of her own blond hair in cut in her left hand to take some of her own blood. _

_Severus watched her finishing the potion. He really considered leaving the pensieve, because he wasn't sure, how he would react, seeing the ritual taking place. A part of wanted to watch Luna losing her virginity as a part of this ritual – especially considered, she was having sex with him. But another part of him was afraid – no - concerned, he wasn't sure, if he was able to watch himself having sex with Luna. He had dreamt about sex with her for years and he was afraid, that he couldn't handle seeing it in her memory. But he was also curious, how her memory was different from his dreams. He wasn't sure how he should talk to her – he knew he had to. They had to talk about the whole situation._

_'Oh, shit,' he thought. He suddenly realised, why she had left her memories NOW. Because of that ritual and through the conception of Alexander and Selena, he was suddenly subject of that stupid ministry law. He would have to marry Luna within the next six weeks._

_Severus concentrated on the memories again. They changed, and he saw Luna preparing them for the ritual – she dressed them both in white robes. He shuddered – white wasn't his colour, he preferred wearing black._

_She took Severus with her in the pond which was filled by the spring. Although it was summer the water was quite cool. In the pond she washed them both with the fresh, clear water from the spring. While she was washing them both, she chanted the ancient purification incantation necessary for the ritual. The next part of the ritual took place in a sacred circler in the middle of a meadow. Luna walked around Severus following the circle, she was chanting to praise Mother Nature and the holy earth where all life comes from._

_She took one vial of the potion she had brewed for the ritual and began to massage Snape's naked body. She started with his feet and legs she moved up massaging every inch of his body. He instantly reacted to her tender ministrations. Although unconscious his body wanted to take part in the ritual, at least one part of him seemed to be awake – his member stood half-erect begging for Luna's attention._

_Severus felt his face colouring, when he saw the reactions of his memory-self._

_She was over him and stroked his lean body and massaged his muscular breast with the potion. She got aroused by feeling his strong body while she administered the potion to him. _

_Severus was taken aback as he watched Luna's ministrations to his body. And he felt arousal rising in his body just from watching the ritual. Feeling his arousal he considered, leaving the pensieve, going to Luna's chambers and fucking her sensless. He groaned and tried to concentrate, but it was hard not to think about sex, while seeing memories of a sexual act. He shook his head and tried to calm himself. An evil thought crossed his mind – if they had to marry anyway, he would get more then enough chances to fuck Luna in the future – and he smirked._

_He finally thought he would explode, when Luna started to massage the potion into her own skin and_ _she moved over Severus body and kissed him, she slipped her tongue over his lips and his mouth opened out of reflex. She slipped her tongue into his mouth and kissed him feverishly. He saw their arousal and how his member stood fully-erect up at her bottom. A deep groan left his throat, when he saw Luna playing with her clit. _

_Severus only wished he could take part in the ritual now and wouldn't only watch. His hand went to the bulge in his trousers – he needed some form of release, it was torture to watch the ritual, without getting release himself. _

_Luna took Severus member in her hand and positioned him at her entrance. She took a deep breath and lowered herself onto him – she stopped and took another deep breath and pushed herself down on to his shaft, till he filled her completely. She sat still and waited for a moment, before she started moving and intoned the incantation for the ritual. _

_Severus stood there watching the ritual. He saw magic beginning to swirl around them and Luna moved faster and faster and repeated the incantation over and over again getting louder and louder in the process. She seemed to be in a trance. Severus was impressed by the magical, white light surrounding their coupling bodies – the magic of the ritual was very strong. They were literally glowing._

_Severus saw, Luna finishing the ritual. Panting and totally exhausted Luna finished the last incantation. Then she stood up and redressed herself. She took her wand and scourcified them both. As she was finished she looked at him again and stroked his hair. As she touched him, he opened his eyes._

"_Am I dead?" Severus asked huskily. He couldn't really see anything, because everything was bright and sunny and his eyes weren't used to light any more. _

"_No, Severus", an angelic voice answered him._

_After a few moments he discerned his surroundings and recognized Luna._

"_Miss Lovegood, would you mind telling me why I am here with you and most of all why I am NAKED?"_

"_That was necessary for the healing ritual I performed on you. I used the power of earth and nature to wake you out of your coma."_

_Severus remembered the last part and was pulled back out of the pensieve._

00000

Severus blinked and saw that he was back in his office. He shook his head. He was shocked and exhausted and didn't know what to do. First of all he needed a drink. He went to drawer and purred himself a large fire whiskey. After he had downed his drink, he decided, that another glass of whiskey was in order. After his second drink he sat down at his desk and shook his head.

"Are you alright, my boy;" came a voice from behind. Severus turned to see the portrait of Albus Dumbledore twinkle at him.

"Albus, I don't want to discuss my personal problems with you, as you can't help me anyway. I didn't like it when you called me 'my boy', when you were alive, and I don't want to hear it now either. And it has become even less appropriate since I'm FIFTY years old. " Severus told the portrait in a cold voice

The portrait twinkled and smiled at him. He put a lemon drop into his mouth and said:"You'll always remain a boy in my eyes, Severus – I've known you since you were eleven years old after all. So you are troubled by Luna Lovegood's memories – her memories concerning the conception of her children and your connection to them." Dumbledore didn't ask, but made an assumption. "You know, that you can tell me anything. How do you feel about Luna Lovegood and her – your - children?"

Severus brows furrowed: "What do you know –you are nothing but a piece of canvas? Why on earth do you believe I'd talk to you about my problems and about Luna Lovegood's children? Why do you think her family has anything to do with me?"

Albus answered: "I might be a portrait, but I'm neither blind nor stupid. Anyone with eyes in his head sees how similar these children are compared to you, especially Alexander. And, well Luna asked me once or twice, how to tell you about the ritual and the children."

Severus raised a single eyebrow, considering: "You knew. Does anybody else know? Am I the only jerk who doesn't know his own children? Great – that's just great." His voice was now dripping with sarcasm.

Albus shook his head and put another lemon drop in his mouth – he had always known Severus to be especially sarcastic, when he was emotionally distressed, but didn't want to show it: "I don't think so. There are many who don't know anything abut your children's paternity. Minerva might perhaps know. Millicent might have figured it out, but she is Luna's best friend. You don't need to worry my boy."

Suddenly a glass smashed into the wall next to Dumbledore's portrait and Severus jumped up from his chair and screamed irate: "Don't 'my boy' me you meddling old fool. How on earth shall I talk to Luna? It's just too much. I thought I would never have children and now I learn that I have been a father for the last eleven years – without knowing it. I don't even know my own children – I've only been alone in the same room with them once – once. I don't know how to be a father."

Dumbledore shrugged: "First you need to calm down. Then you should sleep and sober up. When you've calmed down, you shouldn't rush into your talk with Luna and your children. You need time to adjust and your children will need time as well, when they learn that you're their father. Good night Severus, sleep well, perhaps you'll find a solution in your dreams."

Severus shuddered and left his office. Albus watched him shaking his head.

He hadn't even thanked Luna for saving his life, before leaving her to raise their children alone. Severus felt guilty – he had always hurt those, who meant most to him – first Lily, later Luna. Maybe he wasn't supposed to love or to be loved.

He took a bottle of fire-whiskey and a tumbler from a cupboard and tried to drown his feelings.

00000

Knowing that Severus was watching her memories Luna could hardly sleep that night. Her life was over – she was pretty certain that Severus would kill her after seeing her memories.

Because she couldn't find sleep anyway, Luna decided to go for a walk. She left the castle and walked over the grounds towards the Forbidden Forest. She was happy when she saw the Thestrals – she had always loved those animals. A young one came closer and she fed it with a piece of meat.

The presence of the animals calmed her. Thestrals were misunderstood creatures – they could only be seen by people who had seen death and they were feared.

Luna smiled at the young Thestral, remembering when she had wandered here during her forth year – she had met Harry and told him about the true nature of Thestrals, because he had been afraid of them. Well, she had to acknowledge that these creatures looked rather nightmarish, but they didn't deserve their bad reputation.

She sighed - most people weren't able to see what was hidden beneath the surface.

The Thestrals had helped her to calm herself. It was long past midnight when Luna returned to her chambers in the castle. She finally found sleep, but it was a short night.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: The world of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling

**What are you living for?**

By RawenclawBabe

**Chapter 7**

After only very few hours sleep, Luna went down to the Great Hall for breakfast. She was nervous about seeing Severus again – but he wasn't there. Luna became worried. Had his absence anything to do with her memories? How did he react to the news in the pensieve? She and Severus really had to talk. They had two children and – if the Ministry went through with their marriage law plans – they were about to be married. But she didn't really have time to ponder about Severus's possible reaction since she had to teach. She tried to concentrate on her work, but her thoughts started drifting.

Luna watched her students working, when she suddenly realised that a student was about to add a wrong ingredient. She shouted: "Don't add the lacewings now. You have to add the snake scales first. And bat-blood doesn't belong in this potion. Ten points from Gryffindor for your lack of attention." She was shocked about her own reaction – yes, the student had nearly made a fatal mistake – Luna Lovegood had never shouted at anyone, she didn't get loud, because she was a calm and good tempered person. She really was out of sorts – she had almost reacted like Severus, when he had been the Potions Master – although she wasn't that tense and strict - yet.

The student looked up before he could add the blood and the lacewings. He put the lacewings back on the table and added the snake scales. Luna nodded and took the bat blood away from him and explained: "Mr. Woodley, I don't want you to cause any explosions and blood reacts violently with this potion. Next time, I want you to read the instructions properly and then you'll take the _necessary_ ingredients from the storage cupboard. Am I understood?" The student looked at her and nodded solemnly.

Luna put the bat-blood back in the storage-cupboard. Then she went back to her desk and read the third-year's Potions essays. She hardly noticed what she was reading, but she really wondered what her students were thinking, when they did their homework assignments – perhaps nothing at all? She shook her head and put the parchment down. She couldn't cope with stupidity right now – some essays were worse than Rita Skeeter's articles in the Daily Prophet and those were usually just bad written fairy tales.

Her thoughts drifted back to Severus. She realised, that it was his own fault that he hadn't known about their children for so long. He had decided to leave and stayed away, he wanted solitude. Well, perhaps she should have explained the ritual to him back then, but he was his usual malevolent self when he woke up and she didn't dare to confront him. She watched her students. She remembered Severus as her Potions teacher – he was strict, but Potions was dangerous and mistakes could be life-threatening.

Sighing Luna knew she had to talk to Severus. But how was she supposed to begin that conversation? She hoped she would see him a lunch to make an appointment for their discussion. She closed her eyes and breathed calmly – only one lesson left until lunchtime.

00000

When Severus woke up in the morning, he had the feeling that his head was going to explode. He had a horrible headache and his vision was blurred. He carefully opened his eyes and noticed an empty bottle fire-whiskey on his bedside table - he groaned. He couldn't remember how he came to drink the whole bottle – no, he couldn't remember drinking it. Well, he didn't feel like thinking at all with that headache. He took his wand off the bedside table and accioed a vial hangover-potion. Shaking his head he took the potion. He felt his head clear up and remembered the last night.

The pensieve with Luna's memories was still in his office. He hadn't even taken a look at the book next to it. He had been too shocked and aroused from the memories.

He really had to talk to Luna – she had saved his life and had given birth to his children. He shook his head – how on earth was he supposed to speak to Luna after seeing these memories?

Severus looked at his alarm clock and saw it was half past seven. He really needed a shower before heading for breakfast – he thought for a moment – he wasn't able to speak to anyone right now, it would be the best, if he had breakfast in his office. Exactly he would take his shower and have breakfast alone in his office. He nodded and went straight to his bathroom.

After showering and dressing Severus went to his office. He saw the pensieve standing on his desk. He sighed and put it aside. He sat down and called a house-elf.

While Severus was sitting in his office having breakfast, an important ministry owl arrived. He opened the letter. It was a list of all students whose ancestry had to be tested. The list was longer than expected. The ministry counted all children whose parents were only married according to muggle-laws as illegitimate, only the wizard's bonding ritual counted as marriage in the Wizarding World.

Severus shook his head. The ministry wanted to test the ancestry of almost fifty percent of his students. He recognised the signature and sighed: "Dolores Umbridge, why can't this horrible woman just drop dead? And she accompanies the minister here."

Shuddering he started to curse under his breath. Not only students had hated Umbridge, when she was teacher and High-inquisitor at Hogwarts. None of the teachers had liked her. This evil little toad, why on earth was she still allowed to work for the ministry after the fall of Voldemort? She played an important role in the anti-muggleborn legislation back then. Secretly Severus wondered what Umbridge had done to stay in office. Was she fucking the minister? No, even Duddely couldn't be that desperate. Maybe she used blackmail? Severus shrugged, it was a possibility. Perhaps Umbridge was just some sort of slime which could survive in any environment – Fudge, Voldemort, Duddely – she always succeeded somehow.

That woman was certainly drawn to power – that made her dangerous. Very Slytherin – _those cunning folks use any means to achieve their ends_. Well, but Umbridge wasn't really cunning and with her in power any mad, power-hungry megalomaniac had a chance to rule the Wizarding World – Umbridge would help him on the way to power. There was nothing more dangerous in the world, than someone who seeks power at all costs. Severus shuddered, he knew power was seductive – Voldemort had promised his followers power after all. The power had drawn him to the Dark Lord – he never wanted to be a victim again after he had suffered from his father's abuse and the Marauder's harassment – he had already suffered enough for at least two lifetimes when he took the mark at eighteen. He had suffered even more afterwards by the hands of the Dark Lord – well, joining the Death Eaters hadn't been the cleverest idea after all.

Severus shook his head and tried clear his mind again. He had to talk to Luna – thinking about his past mistakes didn't help him with that. What should he say? How should they tell their children? How would Selena and Alexander react? But first he had to talk to Luna alone – he could invite her for dinner. He wrote a short note for Luna and asked a house-elf to put it on her desk. They would have dinner together and discuss everything.

00000

Dolores Umbridge went to her associate's mansion. Since she first started working for the Ministry of Magic she had always known to seek out the most important allies. There was a new power rising. No one knew him, but he knew everything about the Ministry and he seemed to know everyone. He called himself 'The Masked Lord' – he never showed his face.

The "Masked Lord" was very secretive. He had a lot of influence in the Wizengamot, but nobody knew his name. He was a powerful wizard with plans to change the Wizarding world, although these plans were confusing and seemed to be completely illogical. He seemed to be pureblood, but his ideology didn't fit in with the classical pureblood ideal.

Umbridge liked working for 'The Masked Lord'. Ideologies had never truly concerned her – she just wanted to be successful and fit in. And he had helped her securing her post at the ministry after the fall of Voldemort. Although she had never been a Death Eater or officially followed Voldemort, she had played a huge part in the Ministry's anti-muggleborn-legislation during Voldemort's reign. She had never respected him as a person, because Voldemort was just a filthy half-blood wizard – and she loathed everything impure, like half-bloods, half-breads or any magical beings that weren't wizards – but she knew her opinions weren't accepted at the ministry at the moment – the success of the order of Phoenix had led to that - but she was clever enough not to voice her visions aloud. She was a bureaucrat and followed regulations. She had never questioned the regulations.

Umbridge had always followed the strongest leader. And 'The Masked Lord' had found her. She was working for him secretly with like-minded witches and wizards, they were few, but their leader was constantly gaining influence.

When Dolores Umbridge arrived at Downfoot Mansion, she was led into the dining room by a house-elf. She sneered at the elf and went inside. The room was a very formal dining room. In the centre was a large, dark wooden table with place for at least 20 persons. The colour of the room was a light green and there were large mirrors on the wall opposite the windows. When she came in there were already five persons seated around the table. She greeted them politely and sat down. She looked around and recognised Theodore Nott, Hannah Abbott, Rita Skeeter, Penelope Clearwater, Percy Weasley and Emilius Duddely. She already knew them as associates of the Masked Lord and wasn't surprised to see them. Almost everybody with influence in the Wizarding World belonged to their group and it was constantly growing. They used their influence to place the right people in important political positions – the Minister of Magic was member of their group – and to insure laws and decisions in their favour. They had been quite successful so far.

Their group was called "Magic is Power"- short MIP - and no one was allowed to know all members of the MIP except the Masked Lord.

None of them knew the name of the Masked Lord - he had told them that they would learn about his name, if it was necessary. Their leader forbade any form of violence against muggles or wizards, he wanted the MIP to remain a secret organisation that didn't need publicity – especially that they didn't need bad publicity.

The Masked Lord had great plans not only for the Wizarding World - he wanted influence on the muggle world as well. He wanted to rule over all people magic and non-magic – the United Kingdom was only the starting point for this project, but he wanted more. He had studied great ruler and dictators for years (magical and muggle), he knew their successes and their weaknesses – he wanted to be better. He knew had learned from their mistakes, he thought he would be better. The whole world would learn of their superiority. Their magic would be the power to rule the world.

The Masked Lord entered the dining room. He wore a silver mask over his face and black and silver dress-robes. His hair was covered by a hood. He was a tall and elegant man with a wining personality. He was born to be successful – to be a leader. He was proud, that his group contained members of all four houses in Hogwarts – contrasting Lord Voldemort whose followers had mainly been Slytherins. He greeted them: "Welcome my friends. It is good to see you here in my humble home. We are here to discuss the progress of our latest project, as well as the plans to increase the birth-rates of the so-called muggleborns. The magical population must grow insure the influence of Magic in the world – to insure OUR influence in the world. Magic is Power and Power must Rule." His voice was powerful. He seduced everyone with his words. His words had their own magic, their own power to influence other people. He knew how to seduce his followers - he seduced them to follow his lead and to help him to gain power.

The Masked Lord looked from Duddely to Umbridge: "I need an update on how our plans at the ministry are progressing."

Duddely nodded and began to speak: "We have passed the law, that only magical bonds are legally marriages in our world. We are going to test the ancestry of all Hogwarts students who are illegitimate according to that law. We have found a bonding ceremony that insures a pregnancy in the following month."

The Masked Lord nodded: "Good, the magical population must grow. There will be a time when wizards and witches will outnumber the muggles and we will rule over them." He looked to Umbridge and asked: "How is our "muggleborn" project progressing, Dolores?"

Umbridge stood up and spoke: "We have been infiltrating muggle fertility clinics – we hope, that it's possible to produce magical offspring by artificial insemination. Our male members are working on seducing muggle women to impregnate them – it's the standard procedure so far, but we hope, that our plans will progress faster when the artificial inseminations work out properly."

"That's what I wanted to hear. Hannah, what is the status on your magical primary schools? We need to get magical gifted 'muggle' children in our influence as soon as possible."

Hannah Abbott nodded and said: "We try to reach the parents as soon as their children show the first signs of accidental magic. We introduce our schools for gifted children to them and offer their children a full scholarship – that convinces most of the parents. We are also working on a curriculum that shows our pupils the advantages of magic, they will be taught the ideals of the MIP, by the time they'll attend Hogwarts they'll be followers of our cause."

The Masked Lord smirked behind his mask: "Good. The next step will be to win teachers at Hogwarts for our cause. We have to win our followers as early as possible and we don't reach all children through our primary schools. Our plans seem to work out so far, but none of us is allowed to sit down and to be lazy now. There is much more to do. You are noted for our next meeting. If you make mistakes, I'll be informed immediately." He stood up and left the dining room. His followers were still seated around the table, but left one by one, too.

After his follower had left his mansion – although no one connected it with his true name – he apparated away. His house, the one currently lived in, wasn't even in the same country – no one should believe his true self to be regularly in Britain after all. No one should be able to connect him with the Masked Lord.

Finally at home - sighing he took of his mask. He needed his secret identity – no one could know that he wanted to control the Wizarding world. Even his own family didn't know what he was up to – and he seriously doubted they would understand. When he was young, he had followed the Dark Lord like his father before him – but violence was the wrong way. He still cared for blood-purity – at least when his own family was concerned, but he had his pure-blooded heirs – but he had come to the conclusion that there were too few wizards in the world. He wanted to control the world as leader of the Wizarding World and that meant that the magical community needed to grow. Oh muggles would still exist in his Utopia, but they would know their place. When his goals were achieved there would be three classes: First were witches and wizards whose parents were married through a magical bond – after three generations they would count as pure-blooded anyway. Second were witches and wizards whose parents weren't bonded – mostly half-blood due to one muggle-parent or illegitimate children of married wizards. And last were muggles, who would all count as bastards, because their muggle-parents could never marry, if only a magical bond was legal – well, muggles would be legally on the same level as house-elves anyway.

Smirking he filled a tumbler with fire-whiskey, he sipped it while he was looking over the lavender fields outside – pity that it was autumn and getting colder he truly loved the lavender fields in summer.

00000

When lunchtime had arrived and she still hadn't seen Severus since giving him the pensieve. Luna sat in the Great Hall and ate. She couldn't concentrate. She noticed that Millicent was talking to her, but she wasn't really listening. She was thinking about Severus. She wanted to talk to him about her memories. But he hadn't at breakfast – he wasn't at lunch either. She sighed - she would go to his office later and talk to him.

"... You really should write to your friends Harry Potter and Hermione Weasley, they might be able to help with the new ministry programme."

"WHAT?" Luna looked at Millicent. She hadn't listened until she heard the names Harry Potter and Hermione Weasley. "I beg you pardon? I was in thought. How do you think Harry and Hermione might be able to help?"

Millicent cleared her throat: "As I was saying - the minister of Magic Emilius Duddely is related to Dolores Umbridge and she is working for his government in secret – a friend at the ministry told me – you know, how horrible the work of that woman is. Now they want to test the heritage of all muggleborns. I don't know their reasoning but it somehow reminds me of the muggleborn-laws, when they checked everybody's heritage for muggleborns or muggles. Duddely isn't a strong minister, he is a typical Hufflepuff. Well, not a typical Hufflepuff, he is too colourless even for that. But it seems rather obvious that he is listening to the wrong people – like Umbridge. Hermione is good at lobbying and Harry is a famous and important wizard, who has the Potter seat in the Wizengamot."

"Why would a Hufflepuff partake in anti-muggleborn-legislation? I know Duddely is a weak minister, but there must be someone else behind it."

Millicent nodded and took a sip of her coffee: "Their legislation isn't a true anti-muggleborn-legislation as the Ministry enforced under Voldemort – there goals are extremely unclear – that could be even worse. Of course, it seems to be a Slytherin plan – Duddely is just a scapegoat, if the plan succeeds, the one who is responsible for it will show up – if it doesn't, it will be the minister's fault. They don't even officially say that they are testing muggleborn children – the ministry doesn't accept non-magical marriages any more, so they count all muggleborn children as illegitimate and they only test all children born out of wedlock."

Luna sighed: "They want to outlaw marrying muggles, as magical marriages can only be between a witch and a wizard. Therefore all children with one muggle parent will count as illegitimate as well."

Millicent nodded: "Maybe it's their new way to insure 'blood-purity' in the long run -and they a more cunning than the last time. The one is behind that idea is very patient and wants to separate our world completely from the muggle world."

Luna looked very pensive. "We have to figure out why and who is behind it, You are right, I must contact Harry and Hermione, we'll need all the help we can get, this is an enormous conspiracy."

Millicent shuddered: "You-know-who is dead for twelve years now, Dumbledore defeated Grindelwald 65 years ago – I fear, we are witnessing the rise of the next Dark Lord now."

Luna shuddered: "We should contact Minerva as well, Dumbledore might be dead, but we should reactivate the Order." Luna almost wanted to smash her head on the table - she had mentioned, the Order of Phoenix to Millicent, who had neither been part of DA nor the Order – it's never good to mention secret organisations to outsiders.

But Millie only shrugged she had always been as neutral as a Slytherin could be. She never openly opposed Voldemort or the Death Eaters, but as Slytherin that was necessary – a form of self-preservation – you couldn't survive among all those Death Eater spawns, if you opposed them. If you weren't one of them, you had to keep quiet and remain neutral. None of them ever realised that Snape had been a less than hundred percent Death Eater – a Slytherin with different opinion has to be cunning enough, not to show his true loyalties.

00000

Severus Snape went to the Great Hall for lunch – he was late. He had been busy writing to Potter and the Ministry and hadn't realised how the time had passed. He was anxious about meeting Luna at lunch – he still hadn't had a chance to talk to her. He looked at the head table and saw, that Luna was already sitting there and talking to Millicent. Both women looked concerned, and he saw a special edition of the _Daily Prophet _lying between them. He went to his seat and greeted the other teachers. He looked at the paper and read the headline "_The Ministry of Magic declares all non-magical Marriages null and void_".

"That sounds serious," Severus said indicating the newspaper.

The two women looked up at him. Luna nodded and Millicent said: "They are planning something big. They want the Wizarding-Bonding-Ritual as the only legal marriage in our world. Children that were born in different marriages are illegitimate now and have to be tested with ancestry potions. If the government goes on like that, it will be easier to test every witch or wizard with ancestry potions without excuses. I really wonder what they are playing at."

Severus took his seat and whispered to Luna: "Do you have time this evening? I want to invite you for dinner, we could talk then."

Luna nodded: "This evening would be okay for me. When and where do you want to meet me?"

"I'll pick you up at your quarters at seven o'clock."

Luna smiled and said: "Aright, do I need to wear anything special?"

Severus answered: "Please dress nicely, we'll be going out:"

Luna nodded and continued to eat lunch. Neither she nor Severus realised, that their children at the Slytherin table were watching them closely. Alexander looked at his sister and asked: "What's going on between mum and the headmaster? Do you see how they are looking at each other?"

Selena nodded and eyed the two adults suspiciously: "There is something going on between the two. Perhaps they are dating or so. Well, the headmaster is at least a better choice than Longbottom."

Alexander raised an eyebrow: "I think there is something else going on. There were many discussions between the teachers in the last few days. I overheard Aunt Millie and mum talking about a new ministry project – apparently all children born out of wedlock will be tested with ancestry potions and their parents will have to marry a month afterwards."

Selena looked from Alexander to Severus and back and whispered in her brother's ear: "Do you think headmaster Snape could be our father? I see some similarities between you and him."

Alexander looked at the headmaster – he watched him closely. He was in deep thought until Severus looked back at him. They starred in each others eyes for a few moments. Alexander was thinking: 'Is it possible? Is the headmaster our father?' After a few moments he shook his head to clear his thoughts. He looked at his plate and finished his lunch.

Selena had also finished eating and said to Alexander: "I think we should watch mum and the headmaster. I want to find out, if he is our father – it's possible we have the same hair colour and you two look really similar. Perhaps we could talk to them this evening."

Alexander nodded and the twins left the Great Hall with their classmates and went to their next lesson.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: The world of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling

**What are you living for?**

By RawenclawBabe

**Chapter 8**

Harry Potter had just arrived at home after a day at the Ministry when an owl arrived. It looked like a Hogwarts school owl – but James had his own owl. Harry sighed and took the letter and gave the owl a treat.

Looking at the letter and the writing appeared to be familiar. When he opened it holding his breath – Severus Snape had finally written him and wanted to meet him. Harry felt joyous for a moment but he continued reading – apparently James had got in trouble with Snape. The boy had been in the kitchen with his invisibility cloak at midnight – the Headmaster had confiscated the cloak and Harry had to come to Hogwarts and get it personally, if he wanted it back. Why had he given the cloak to James? The boy had always reminded him of Sirius and his father – the two most important men in his life – he enjoyed pranks and fun, he was also a great Quidditch player.

Now it was obvious that Headmaster Snape would hate the boy for being like his grandfather. Cursing Harry had to admit his son seemed to have disrespected the Headmaster and would face expulsion, if he didn't change.

Harry sighed - James was hero-worshipping the Marauder after he heard all Ron knew about them. His son idolised them and wanted to be like them – with Snape as Headmaster he would face expulsion rather sooner than later. He couldn't even really blame Snape – Sirius had nearly got him killed and wasn't even punished for it. Snape would never be lenient, if he caught James in a prank especially with Marauder as role-model.

The Headmaster was expecting him the next morning. Harry sighed again and mentally prepared himself for the worst.

00000

After their lessons Alexander and Selena hid in their mother's quarters. They wanted to know, what their mother and the Headmaster were up to. They disillusioned themselves and hid behind the sofa.

Luna arrived at her chambers after marking essays in her office. It was now 6 pm. She still had time to get ready for dinner. She went into her bedroom and looked in her wardrobe. She chose a dark blue dress with silver embroidery. That dress always reminded her of the night sky. She took a shower and dressed. She decided to wear only a little make-up and chose large silver earrings in the form of stars.

The twins stared at Luna, when she came back in the living room. She didn't dress up often – she obviously had a date. Their mother had a date with the Headmaster.

Luna unwarded a cupboard and took out a piece of chocolate – she always warded her sweets, the Umpalumpas always tried to steal her chocolate and she had to change the wards regularly. Alexander and Selena watched her discretely – it was quite useful that their mother always accused the Umpalumpas, when her chocolate was missing.

At seven o'clock there was a knock at the front door. Luna hurried and opened it. Severus came in and said: "Good evening Luna. Are you ready? You'll need your coat, because we will have dinner on the astronomy tower – it's autumn and it's getting colder."

Luna and Severus left her chambers and walked to the astronomy tower. Severus looked at Luna's dress and her earrings and smirked: "Obviously the astronomy tower is the right choice for you, you seem to like stars."

Luna smiled: "I love the stars. It's a pity that Trelawney never was much of a Divination teacher."

Severus stopped for a moment and stared at her blankly: "You believe in divination? Well, you always seemed to have rather special tastes."

Luna sighed: "Divination isn't about belief, it's about possibilities and chances – Divination and Arithmancy have that in common, both give you the possibility to predict certain chances or the possible outcomes of decisions. You don't need divination, if you keep your eyes open."

Severus nodded, while he was listening to Luna's argument. He hadn't taken Divination, while he was attending school, but he knew the value of Arithmancy. In many cases the common sense and the calculation of probabilities had more value than predictions made through Divination.

Looking at him, Luna continued: "But of course there are topics in Divination, that have a lot in common with muggle Psychology: Look at dream interpretation for instance – your dreams are the windows to your subconscious, if you look at them, you'll find out things you are unaware of while you are awake. So one can use Divination to learn about oneself, but the future isn't written yet. We all have to accept that we are responsible for our on decisions – you have to make your choices yourself. It's dangerous to follow a prophecy without thinking of the possible consequences – often prophecies are fulfilled, when someone tries to avoid the consequences. Look at Harry and Lord Voldemort. Or think of what Sophocles wrote about Oedipus. Oedipus ran away, because he didn't want to kill his surrogate father and marry his surrogate mother and ended killing his biological father and marrying his biological mother. His biological father wanted him to be killed as baby fearing the prophecy, but out of mercy Oedipus survived – if Oedipus had grown up with his biological parents, he might never have ended killing his father. His parents and he – they all tried to avoid the prophecy and in consequence they did everything necessary to fulfil it."

Severus arched an eyebrow: "Well, it seems attempting to murder babies isn't a good choice to prevent a prophecy from fulfilling."

Luna shook her head: "It was Lord Voldemort's own fault, that the prophecy was fulfilled. He believed in the necessity to kill Harry because of it and he caused his own end that way, because he didn't know all of it. Prophecies are more dangerous, if you believe in Divination."

They were focused on their discussion and didn't realise the two disillusioned children, who were following them.

Finally they arrived on top of the Astronomy tower. The house elves had prepared a romantic candle-light dinner for them. There was silverware and fine wine on the table. Severus pulled out the chair for Luna and let her sit down. Then he seated himself opposite to her. He called a house elf for the dinner to be served. A few seconds later an elf appeared with two plates.

Alexander and Selena hid behind a large pillar and watched the headmaster and their mother.

Severus and Luna started to eat. They ate in silence. Neither of them dared to begin their conversation.

After minutes in silence Luna began to shift in her seat uncomfortably. They needed to talk. She cleared her voice and said: "I'm so sorry. It's my fault that you are affected by that stupid new ministry law."

Severus raised an eyebrow and looked at her pensive. He took a deep breath and said: "If it wasn't for you, I would be dead now. I would have died twelve years ago. You saved my life. If you hadn't rescued me, I would be dead. If you hadn't done everything to help me, you wouldn't have the twins and wouldn't be affected by the law. I don't blame you for saving my life and having our children. It was difficult to accept at first, but I'm glad that I'm alive and you couldn't rescue me any other way. I want to thank you for saving me. I know, that is something I should have done twelve years ago, but I couldn't cope with the whole situation back then."

Alexander and Selena listened to their parents' conversation. They heard every word. The Headmaster was their father. They sat on the cold stone floor in shock. The headmaster was their father. Their mother had rescued his life and given birth to his children. Severus Snape was their father. They finally had a father. Their father was a hero, he had spied on Voldemort and was declared hero by Harry Potter and the former Minister of Magic Kingsley Shacklebolt.

They heard their mother speaking: "I'm sorry Severus that I didn't tell you sooner. I wanted you to be free and I didn't want you to owe me a life debt. I didn't tell you, because you shouldn't feel obliged to stay with me and help me with the children."

Severus snorted: "You saved my life, I'll always owe you. You are the mother of my children, who were conceived, because you saved me. Have you ever thought that I could want to be in my children's life? I've just learned about their existence and I've missed eleven years of their life. It's more than a life debt. I want to be part of their life – I want to be part of your life." Luna had tears in her eyes – she felt sorry for Severus, he had the right to know – he could have had his family sooner, if she had told him the truth in the beginning.

Severus took a deep breath before he continued to speak: "What do you want to do about the law? There will be open paternity tests for all illegitimate children and muggleborns. They'll make us marry after the test."

Luna blurted out: "We could always marry beforehand."

Severus looked at her surprised and raised questioningly an eyebrow: "Have you just proposed, Luna?"

Luna took a deep breath and explained: "I guess. They'll make us marry anyway. If we marry through a wizard binding beforehand, our children won't be tested publicly. We marry and test them. Then we'll send the documents to the ministry and we'll be left in peace. We both prefer our privacy, so it would be the best option."

Severus nodded: "You are aware, that the marriage must be consummated for the binding to be valid? We must marry and consummate our marriage very soon, if we want to keep our privacy."

Alexander and Selena sat there listening. Why hadn't mum told them? She had lied to them. They had asked her a hundred times about their father, but she didn't say anything. They were angry. Their father hadn't known of their existence before he returned to Hogwarts this year? Their parents were supposed to get married? What new ministry law were they talking about?

Luna looked deep into Severus' dark eyes: "Let's get married this weekend. I'm not worried about the consummation – maybe you are."

Severus was beginning to nod when he heard her second sentence, then he snapped at her: "I'm not worried having sex with you, I wanted to be sensible – I'm over twenty years older than you after all."

Sniggering Luna hugged him: "Sorry, Severus. I'm not worried about having sex with you and I didn't mean to insult your prowess."

Severus pulled her close and kissed her. The kiss started rather innocent, but became very heated.

Alexander and Selena gasped – seeing their parents snogging was nothing the two eleven-year-olds wanted to see.

Luna and Severus broke their kiss and turned to the pillar. They had heard something. Severus stood up, took out his wand and spoke: "_Finite incantatem_"

Alexander and Selena, who were still sitting behind the pillar, became visible.

Severus went over to the pillar. He looked down at the children and asked: "Getting caught sneaking around after hours? Not very Slytherin, that won't do and 10 points will be taken from Slytherin for each of you. What do you think you are doing here?"

Selena and Alexander stood up – they were rather unhappy about losing points, but they had been caught. They looked up at the angry looking man in voluminous black robes, who had crossed his arms and looked down at them. They exchanged a look before Selena shrugged and answered: "We wanted to know what mum is up to. We wanted to know the truth and she has never told us." Both children narrowed their eyes suspiciously at their mother andAlexander continued for his sister: "We have a right to know. Now we know that you are our father. Usually we don't get caught following our mother on dates."

Severus raised an eyebrow at his son: "You don't get caught or you don't follow your mother on dates?"

Alexander smirked: "You don't expect me to answer that question. We are Slytherin, aren't we?"

Luna had left the table and stood next to Severus. She looked at her children. She took a deep breath before she said: "Since you are here right now, we can talk about everything."

She turned around and went back to the table. She took out her wand and conjured two chairs. She sat back down on her seat and indicated for the others to sit down as well.

The children followed her example and sat down on the new chairs. Severus sat down as well and took a large sip wine before he started to speak:

"I'll tell you my story - you need to know the whole truth. I didn't have many friends when I was a student here at Hogwarts. I was Slytherin and I became associated with a group of future Death Eaters. I took the Dark Mark on Christmas Eve before I turned eighteen. I was a follower of the Dark Lord – Lord Voldemort.

"The Dark Lord wanted me to spy on Dumbledore and I applied for a teaching position. I overheard a prophecy – it was the one about Harry Potter and the Dark Lord. I told him about it. I learned that he wanted to go after the Potters. Lily Evans Potter had been my best friend once and I didn't want her to die. I went to Dumbledore and became his spy."

Severus took another sip of wine and looked in three pairs of curious blue eyes. He took a deep breath and continued:

"The Potters went into hiding, but were betrayed. Lily and her husband died, but their son survived and the Dark Lord vanished. Harry Potter was the boy-who-lived. I stayed as teacher at Hogwarts and he became my student ten years later. Your mother came to Hogwarts one year after Potter. The Dark Lord returned to his physical form in Potter's forth year. I was a spy once again. I taught Potions for many years. In Potter's sixth and your mother's fifth year I became teacher for Defence against the Dark Arts. Headmaster Dumbledore was sick. His hand got cursed, when he destroyed one of Voldemort's Horcruxes. He asked me to kill him. I fulfilled his wish and killed him. I was the Headmaster in the following year. Potter didn't come back for his seventh year. He was destroying the Dark Lord's Horcruxes."

Severus looked to the stars and sighed: "When Potter finally came to Hogwarts to destroy the last Horcrux, the Dark Lord tried to kill me. Potter killed him and your mother rescued me from the Shrieking Shack. She brought me to her mother's family manor, but I was comatose for weeks. She healed me through an ancient blood ritual. You, Selena and Alexander, were conceived during this ritual. When I woke up after the ritual, I fled. I was finally free. I went away and travelled. I didn't know about the ritual and your existence. Minerva McGonagal found me and asked me to come back. And here I am."

The children looked at him pensive. They had heard most of this story – well, the whole story apart from their mother rescuing him and their conception. Their father's name was written in all history books about Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort. He was a hero. The books had counted him as one of the deceased heroes of the war. They exchanged a look before Alexander asked: "Why do you want to marry now?"

Severus took a deep breath and explained: "A few days ago I had to go to the Ministry of Magic. I had a meeting with the board of Governors. We were told by the Ministry officials about a new marriage law. After the war many children were born to unwed mothers. Our world has always been quite conservative. The Ministry wants to test the paternity of all illegitimate students of Hogwarts and their parents will have to marry, if they aren't married yet."

Selena and Alexander raised their eyebrows and looked at him with big eyes.

Luna looked at Severus before she turned to her children: "You've heard our discussion. I've asked Severus to marry me this weekend. If we are married beforehand, we hope, you won't be tested in public. We'll brew an ancestry potion for you and send your family tree to the Ministry with our Marriage Certificate."

Selena looked at her mother questioningly: "Why do you want to marry through the wizard's bond? It's forever. It's very strong magic."

Severus cleared his voice: "It's the only marriage the Ministry of Magic accepts. Muggle marriages aren't official any more in our world."

Alexander raised an eyebrow: "That makes all muggleborns and half-bloods illegitimate in the eyes of the ministry."

Severus and Luna nodded and he said: "All muggleborn and half-blood students will be tested by the ministry. They are up to something."

Luna looked at her children and said: "Something is wrong. But we can discuss this another time. It's late now. I want you two to return to Slytherin house. You need to go to bed and sleep. If we marry this weekend, you can come with us."

Alexander and Selena stood up and said: "Good night, Mum and Dad."

Severus looked at them surprised: "Off you go."

The children left the Astronomy tower and hurried back to their dormitories. Severus and Luna had their dessert, before he walked her back to her quarters.

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Severus was happy – his date with Luna had gone well. They had told their children and found a wedding date. Everything would work out.

After walking Luna back to her rooms, Severus had returned to his own quarters.

A dreadful day was following that great evening. Severus Snape opened his eyes and sighed – he would have to meet Harry Potter at 10 a.m. Maybe the boy had matured and become a responsible adult. There was only one little fact opposing that idea – what responsible adult gave an invisibility cloak to an eleven-year-old? Yes, Dumbledore had done that, too, but Severus had never truly believed the late Headmaster to be a responsible adult - an insane adult, yes, definitely – a responsible adult, hardly.

After having breakfast in the Great Hall, Severus Snape returned to the Headmaster's office. He sat down behind his desk and started doing his paperwork. The floo-network sprang to life. And the head of Harry Potter appeared in his fireplace: "Headmaster Snape, can I step through?"

Severus sighed: "Of course, Mr. Potter. I'm expecting you."

He watched the war-hero Harry Potter stepping out of his fireplace.

"Mr. Potter, have a seat. Do you want anything to drink? I can order a house-elf to bring us tea." Severus remained calm and polite.

Harry Potter seemed to be disconcerted by the Headmaster's kind offer: "Tea is fine. Professor Snape, you didn't summon me here to offer me tea. Why exactly do you want to talk to me?"

Severus smirked and pulled out one of his desk-drawers. He took out the invisibility cloak: "Well, Mr. Potter since you are in such a hurry. I met your son two days ago in the school's kitchen at midnight. He tried to hide using this." He indicated the cloak and continued: "I know that your father and you yourself used this cloak while attending Hogwarts to break the school rules – I have been on the receiving end of pranks enough times to know. But I won't have it. You can take the cloak home today, but if any of your children take it back here again, you won't. Dumbledore was rather lenient concerning the rule-breaking attitude of his beloved Gryffindors, but I'm not. And you'd better tell your son, if he copies the Marauders, he'll be punished. The Marauders weren't heroes, they were vile arses. And your son has to know that he won't be treated different from the other students, although he is the son of a war-hero. All students at Hogwarts are to be treated equally – their house, their family, their blood-status doesn't matter. Gryffindors have been treated better than anyone else for the longest, but not anymore."

Harry swallowed: "Well not by you, you have only ever awarded points to Slytherin. James is just a boy. And you shouldn't speak ill of the dead."

Severus lips became a thin line, but his expression suddenly changed to a smirk: "Yes, but the Slytherins were treated worse than the other houses by most teachers – Slytherins, like myself, were mistreated for their house-affiliation. Sirius Black was 'just a boy' in Dumbledore's eyes, when he attempted to murder me – so you need a better argument. And the way I'm speaking of the Marauders is proportional to how they treated me. And you know that, because you saw my worst memory in the pensieve during your occlumancy lessons. Even your mother called your father an arrogant toe-rag back then."

Taking a deep breath, he knew Snape wouldn't want to talk about his mother anytime soon unless James behaved properly and was polite, Harry answered: "James won't take our invisibility cloak to Hogwarts any more. I'll talk to him."

"You can come back to talk to your son AFTER you've brought the invisibility cloak home. Your son isn't supposed to have a magical item like this at school. Students aren't supposed to sneak around the halls after hour." Severus Snape was pretty adamant. "And he is in class now anyway."

Harry nodded: "Alright, Headmaster. Goodbye." He hurried to the fireplace.

Severus smirked: "Goodbye, Mr. Potter."

Harry used the floo and travelled back home. He was exhausted – the conversation with Snape had been rather unnerving.

Severus Snape sat at his desk. He watched Potter leave through the fireplace. He was rather concerned about James Sirius Potter – the boy's name alone meant trouble.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: The world of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling

**What are you living for?**

By RawenclawBabe

**Chapter 9**

After being visited by his father James Sirius Potter was angry – the Headmaster had given his cloak back to his father, who wouldn't return it to him. Yeah, yeah he shouldn't sneak around after hours braking school rules – his father was a hypocrite; Uncle Ron had told him everything about their adventures during their school days – they had broken any rule imaginable themselves.

Headmaster Snape was an arse – Uncle Ron had been right when he had told him about their mean Potions Master – he was the worst person ever. Why had he taken the invisibility cloak? Well, maybe he could get it back during the next holidays – Snape had given the cloak to his father who had taken it home after all.

James smirked darkly – he would get his cloak back and play the ultimate prank on the Headmaster. Maybe he could ask Uncle George for ideas - his uncles had played pranks during their time at Hogwarts, too and would help him to play his ultimate prank on Snape.

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Severus and Luna were busy planning their wedding. Although they would marry less than a week with only a few guests, they wanted to have a beautiful celebration. They wanted to celebrate in Luna's summer mansion, where Luna had saved him – the mansion was magical because it was on a ley-line-nexus and every magical being could connect to the magic of the earth there.

The impossible was happening - Severus Snape was getting married. He had been living for fifty years now, but he had never thought he would see that day. When he was a teenager he had always dreamed of marrying Lily Evans – but she had chosen that bully Potter instead.

Now he was about to marry Luna Lovegood – who had saved his life and who was the mother if his children. He had never been so nervous before.

He had known Luna's mother Celeste. She had been in Slytherin, too. But she had been a couple of years older and three years ahead of him in school. She had been Lucius Malfoy's younger sister, although she seized to exist in her brother's eyes when she married the lunatic Xenophilos Lovegood. But she had inherited Abraxas Malfoy's favourite summer mansion – the place where Luna had saved his life and their children had been conceived.

Severus wasn't sure, if Luna was aware of her connection with the Malfoy family. Well, he was about to marry his godson's estranged cousin. He had invited the Malfoys – they had been his closest friends for years after all, but he had yet to tell Luna.

They had only a few days to prepare their wedding, but Severus wanted everything to be perfect – he wanted to give his future wife the chance to reconnect with all her estranged relatives – that meant inviting her father and the Malfoys.

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Although Lucius Malfoy was officially residing in France, he was rather busy in England as well – not that anyone was aware of that, he didn't use his name after all. But he had plans. These plans differed vastly from the ideals of his former life, but they would ensure his family's power for a long time.

He was sitting in his French Mansion having breakfast, when an unknown owl arrived. He took the letter from the bird and offered it a piece of bacon. The bird ate it and remained sitting on the table waiting.

Lucius raised an eyebrow at the animal and sneered disgusted: "So you are supposed to wait for my response?"

Sighing he opened the letter - he didn't like animals on his table, while he was eating. No, that wasn't entirely true: He didn't like animals on his table, thank you very much. Animals weren't supposed to be on a table where he was eating – the idea alone was disgusting.

His eyes widened, when he read the letter. Severus Snape was getting married. He read the wedding invitation again: Severus Snape was getting married to Luna Lovegood – an interesting development: he seemed to be the father of her two children, who had been born out of wedlock after the war - well, they were about twelve years late for a proper marriage before having children. Not that Lucius really cared, there were too few true wizards left and although his old friend Severus was a half-blood and Luna was the daughter of the lunatic Lovegood, their marriage was a direct connection of the Prince and the Malfoy bloodlines.

Lucius smirked the wedding was in the summer mansion – the summer mansion of Morgan le Fay. The mansion was full of magic, Morgan le Fay had seduced Merlin there and thusly conceived her daughter – Merlin had never learned of his daughter's existence, but she was powerful and her descendants were powerful, too. The mansion had been given from mother to daughter for centuries. His grandmother had been despaired, when she had only one child – her son Abraxas. The female line was broken, but Abraxas had given the mansion to his daughter Celeste – Luna's mother, Luna had inherited it on her mother's death. Lucius was glad to see the mansion again, but he hoped that there would be some interesting female guests, he could use the mansion's family magic to seduce them. The magic of the mansion had always had a rather sensual and erotic component – powerful seduction and sex magic had been the forte of their infamous matriarch after all. He would have so much fun.

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Harry Potter was surprised when he got his invitation for the Lovegood/Snape-wedding. Although he had been friends with Luna for years, he would have never expected to be invited to the wedding of Severus Snape – that had to be Luna's doing. He was even more surprised when he learned that Hermione and Ron had been invited as well. They hadn't really been in contact with Luna after the war and she had invited them all to her wedding to Severus Snape.

It took a lot of consideration, but after talking to his wife and friends, the Potters and Weasleys decided to attend the wedding of Luna Lovegood and Severus Snape. Harry hoped that he'd get a chance to talk to Snape, although it seemed the man had got over his unreciprocated love towards Lily Evans Potter – but they had been friends for years and he knew about her than anyone else alive. His friends were divided - Ron didn't want to go, because he simply loathed Snape although the man was a hero and had nearly sacrificed his life for the greater good. Hermione was thrilled by the possibility to use the mansion's library – Luna's family had apparently assembled a vast collection of rare books over the centuries – she couldn't wait for the chance to see those books.

"You want to attend the big bat's wedding to peruse Luna's library, Mione. Are you mad?" Even after knowing her for about twenty years, Ron couldn't really understand his wife's fascination with books – he had profited form it during their schooldays, when she did his homework, but he couldn't really understand it.

Hermione sighed: "Luna's family has collected some really rare tomes, they could really help me with my spell-research and you can't enter the grounds unless you're related or you are invited by a family member, who has to be there, too. Luna is at Hogwarts most of the time and I could hardly get a chance otherwise."

Ron groaned: "But what's about the children?"

"Your mother will take them. Hugo and Rose will stay at the Burrow with Albus and Lily, while we are attending the wedding."

Looking disgusted, Ron asked: "You want us to spend a weekend with Snape? Well, I suppose I won't see you anyway, you'll hide away in the library the whole time. Why should I go? The Cannons are playing and I have a ticket for the season – you know that."

"Well, I will go to Luna's wedding with Harry and Ginny, you want to go to your game, I won't stop you. I'll have more time in the library, if you don't come to the wedding, because I can't dance alone," Hermione smiled sweetly at her husband.

"Dance? You'd want me to dance? I don't dance, I prefer Quidditch," Ron seemed to be even more disgusted.

Hermione shook her head: "It's a wedding, what do you expect, Ron? And you did dance at you brothers' weddings, at Harry's wedding and at hour wedding. But I prefer to get some work done in the library anyway. Maybe Luna's books help me to finally get a breakthrough in my research."

Sighing Ron shook his head: "You do your research. But I really don't want to go to that wedding."

Hermione hugged him and gave him a small peck on his cheek: "You are okay with me going to the wedding, are you? I really want to see Luna's mansion and her library there. And you enjoy you Cannons' match in the meantime."

Ron didn't really seem happy, but he accepted her proposition. But he gave her a goofy smile: "The sooner you finish your research the better, I want to try for our third child soon."

Narrowing her eyes Hermione retorted: "Ron, we've been over this a hundred times – two children are enough and I like my job and won't quit it. When my research project is finished, I'll start a new one."

His shoulders dropped and he whined: "But Harry and Ginny have three children. Why shouldn't we have a third one, too? I'm used to having a big family."

Hermione shook her head: "I don't want a third child now. I've enough work with Hugo and Rose, our house and my job. If you really wanted a third child, you would help me with the housework – we both have jobs, but you don't lift a finger at home."

Their conversation was interrupted, when Harry contacted them through the fireplace.

Ron looked at his best friend and pleaded: "Harry, help me. Hermione wants to go to Snape's wedding and she wants me to dance."

Harry raised his eyebrows and looked from Ron to Hermione and back: "Ginny and I will go to the wedding, too. Maybe Luna will make him happy - he has suffered enough as spy protecting the son of his love and his nemesis." Harry shuddered. He didn't know how he would react, if Ginny would leave him to have a child with Malfoy – a horrible idea.

Narrowing his eyes Ron crossed his arms: "I won't go and you can't make me."

Hermione had to fight the urge to role her eyes – Ron sounded like their son Hugo, who was in his terrible twos. She sighed. Hermione truly loved Ron, she had loved him for years – Amortentia smelled like him and her Patronus was an otter reminding her of the Burrow in Ottery St. Catchpole – but she really wished that her husband would grow up.

Harry shrugged: "You don't have to go – Hermione can come with us."

Ron groaned: "Bloody hell, I don't get it. You have all gone insane going to the greasy git's wedding."

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Luna Lovegood was nervous. She wasn't really used to that emotion, but had heard that it was completely normal, when one was about to get married. Although she was certain that her head had been infected by Wrackspurts – her thoughts had become fuzzier and fuzzier over the last few days after all.

All invitations had been sent. The house-elves had prepared the Summer Mansion for the wedding.

She would marry Severus Snape – the hero, who had nearly sacrificed his life in memory of Lily Evans Potter, who he had loved with all his heart but who hadn't loved him back, but run off with a man who had made his life as a student living hell.

Luna felt a deep connection with Severus – they both had been outcasts in their youth. What would she have done, if she hadn't found friends in Harry and her fellow DA members? Although she was certain that Severus would never love her like Lily, Luna hoped he would find a place in his heart for her and their children– especially because they were about to marry.

Luna was happy. They would finally become a complete family – mother, father and their two children. But there was sadness, too. Although she still was her dreamy and happy self, she really missed her father who hadn't talked to her since her pregnancy – her children had never met their grandfather. Hopefully he would come to their wedding.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: The world of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling

A/N: The last part of this chapter contains a lemon. So you have been warned. Enjoy reading.

**What are you living for?**

By RawenclawBabe

**Chapter 10**

Severus Snape was anxious when he arrived at Luna's Summer Mansion. He went to the groom chambers to prepare. He couldn't remember ever feeling so nervous in his life. He was about to get married. He still couldn't believe it. Severus Snape would get married.

He was about to get married and he would never have believed that he would see the day he would get married. When he was young he had always dreamed of marrying Lily who chose that arse Potter. After Lily's death he had given up. But what did he feel now? He wasn't really sure how to define his feelings for Luna – was it love? All his life he had been obsessed with his unrequited love for Lily Evans who became a Potter when she married his enemy. He had never been in an adult relationship with a woman – could he be a good husband? He really didn't know. Was he even capable to have a decent relationship with any woman or would he destroy it like he had destroyed his friendship with Lily? He should never have called Lily mudblood, but seeing her smile at Potter who cursed him while hanging upside down had just been too much for him. He didn't think and part of him wanted to hurt her like she had hurt him by smiling at that arse Potter. But where had that got him?

Looking at the house Severus sighed – he wanted to be better in this new relationship with Luna who had been his student and seen his worst. Maybe she would accept him as he was, although he didn't dare to hope that to be possible. What kind of woman could accept him for who he was? He had done horrible things in his past – joined the Death Eaters, told the Dark Lord the prophecy about Potter, killed the Headmaster, didn't stop the Carrows from torturing students – he was a terrible human being. How could anyone love him?

But Luna and their children did. They loved him. He couldn't even fathom his luck. He was loved – for the first time in his life. When he closed his eyes, he wasn't tortured by Lily's dead green eyes anymore, but he saw Luna's beautiful dove-grey ones (so much like her uncles, but he had never really thought about Lucius Malfoy's eyes as beautiful – the idea alone made him shudder).

Did he dare to be happy? Was he even able to be happy? The last time Severus remembered being happy before was when he was still best friends with Lily – more than thirty years had passed and he had seen more horrors than he wanted to admit. How would his life have been, if he hadn't lost Lily? Would they have remained friends forever? Could they have become lovers perhaps? Would they have got married? Would they have had a family? Could Lily have loved him? Thinking of Lily still hurt him and a part of him would love her forever. But she had never loved him back. Although he had loved her for years, Lily's rejection had hurt him. And he had finally realised that although they had been best friends for years, Lily never forgave him for calling her a mudblood no matter how many times he apologized. Lily had cared so much about appearances – the other Gryffindors hated him for being Slytherin and Lily had been Gryffindor through and through. She chose that awful bully Potter in the end, a man who tormented her so called best friend for years. Looking back Severus decided that maybe Lily had been too vain and shallow to truly accept him. Maybe she hadn't been as perfect as he had always believed her to be. Wouldn't a truly loving and perfect person forgive others their mistakes?

And for the first time in his life he didn't want to think about Lily any more – she was his past and he wanted to concentrate on the future - a future with Luna and children of his own. There was a bubble in his stomach – he didn't really know that feeling – happiness? For the first time in his life Severus had found acceptance and love. He wasn't certain that he deserved it, growing up he had only known being abused and bullied after all. Love – did he really deserve being loved? Not even his own parents had loved him and the woman he had loved for most of his life had run off with his enemy. Severus had learned years ago that he wasn't worth being loved.

He felt his stomach constrict. He wouldn't cry. He wasn't the snivelling weakling the Marauders had always taken him for. But they were all dead now and he was still alive, although he had nearly sacrificed his life for the greater good as Dumbledore because of Lily. He had paid his debts. Most of his life he had only known what it felt like being used and abused. His parents and the Marauders had abused and bullied him and Dumbledore had used him for the most part of his adult life. Had he really deserved being abused? Had he been a worthless child that had to be beaten by everyone? He had decided to go through a therapy after he had survived the second war, but he still had to fight his self-worth issues. He had realised, that his horrible treatment of his students as teacher derived from him being abused and bullied as a child. Why should he treat his students better than he was treated as a child? Emotionally he gave mostly the Gryffindors back what he had got from them, although the new Gryffindors weren't the Marauders. Yes, he had been petty, he knew that now. Now he had a chance feeling loved.

Maybe he could finally be happy now, although he didn't really know how to be happy. Perhaps Luna and their children could teach him. Luna was a great person. Although she had lost her mother very early, although she had been bullied by her classmates, too, she always saw the good and light side in everything. Severus realised that he needed her. He was the darkness and she was his light. They were polar opposites, but they couldn't exist without the other. She was his light, a role that had been taken by Lily's memory for nearly two decades.

He went over to one of the windows and looked over the grounds. Luna's mansion was beautiful. He felt that he belonged here. Maybe because it was here he woke up with a second chance to live thanks to Luna. Luna was special. Although she had her irritating moments while being a student – Severus usually hadn't minded Ravenclaws, but Luna made it difficult when she befriended those Gryffindors. She had broken into his office with Longbottom and that Weasley girl while he was Headmaster for the first time. He had to punish them, he couldn't afford to be found out by the Carrows after all, but he had given them detention with Hagrid. Knowing Luna he was almost certain that she learned his true allegiance back then – she was a bright Ravenclaw after all and not a biased Gryffindor who only believed her own prejudices. He shook his head. He really needed to clear his thought. He was a master occlumence after all - he should be able to control his mind. But his impending marriage and years without necessity had dulled his abilities. He wasn't a spy any more.

Lost in thought he didn't even realise, when his old friend Lucius Malfoy entered his chambers – he really wasn't fit for spying any more. He was surprised by the other man's voice: "Severus, my old friend. I've never thought I'd see that day. You are getting married."

"Lucius", Severus acknowledged the blond man's presence. "So you have decided to come, although you are supposed to live in France according to Draco. I'm honoured that you've decided to come to Britain for my wedding, after all you're hardly here nowadays."

Lucius laughed lightly: "Well, well, Severus. I've known you for decades. I could hardly stay away, when I learned that you are alive and going to get married. You are aware that Luna Lovegood is the daughter of my disowned sister? She chose the wrong man to marry, but apparently her daughter has a better taste – she is marrying you after all. So how could I stay, when one of my closest friends is marrying my niece? I just had to come."

Severus nodded thoughtfully. He wasn't completely sure about Lucius' motives. He was Slytherin. What did the other man want?

Noticing the bridegroom's apprehension Lucius started to speak again: "But that's not why I'm here now. You need to get ready and I'm here to help you. So where are your dress robes? Do you have the rings here?"

"Selena and Alexander are looking after the rings", Severus shook his head. "And Luna told me that I'm not supposed to wear black robes, so I don't really know what to wear. The house elves have put some clothes on the bed for me, but..."

Severus was interrupted by Lucius who laughed out loud – who had never seen the younger man wearing anything but black. He smirked: "Well, Severus. Let's see them." Walking over to the bed, he understood Severus's concerns. There were light linen trousers in light colours – crème, beige and white – he couldn't really imagine Severus in any of these. But those were the usual colours for a Wizard binding.

Severus came up next to Lucius and sighed: "You see my problem, old friend? Can you really imagine me wearing these?"

"I'd hardly call that a problem. You will survive wearing crème coloured wedding robes. And that's my opinion, considering your complexion you should choose the beige or the crème ones." After a moment of consideration Lucius told him: "Take the crème coloured robes, I can see your future wife wearing crème, too."

Severus really wanted to argue, but Lucius had a point and Luna wouldn't want him to wear black. Sighing he took the robes from and looked expectantly: "You don't want to help me dress, so I'd appreciate you leaving the room."

Lucius raised his hands and went backward. "I wouldn't think for a second that you need help getting dressed. I'll see you later, Severus."

After the other man had left the room, Severus turned back to the clothes on the bed. He shuddered thinking he would get married in crème-coloured dress robes. Well, maybe some of their guests would faint in shock, because they had never seen him in anything but black – Luna had invited the golden trio – Severus smirked, seeing the boy-who-couldn't-die-and-had-to-remind-him-of-the-biggest-arsehole-in-history (more commonly known as James Potter) faint would be worth it, wouldn't it. Although considering Dumbledore and the Dark Lord Potter Senior was actually only number three among the biggest arseholes in history. But who did count arseholes? They were more or less interchangeable depending on the situation after all. Part of Severus had forgiven James Potter and the Marauders – he had finally grown up and left this part of his youth behind. But he would never forget the Marauder's cruelties. Forgive, but never forget – Severus couldn't remember where he had heard that phrase. He couldn't forget, but at the same time he knew he shouldn't, because he wouldn't allow anyone treating a fellow student like the Marauders had treated him without being expelled.

Severus shook his head. He didn't want to think about the Marauders – those idiots had got what they deserved and were dead. He knew he shouldn't think that – no one deserved an early death, even though they had tried everything to bring him in an early grave at fifteen. No he wouldn't think about them any more. He had a life now – a better life. He was about to get married to a wonderful – maybe a little insane – woman. But maybe Luna just had to be a bit insane, no sane woman would marry him Severus Snape after all.

Severus dressed and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He didn't look bad in these robes, but he felt weird wearing this light colour. Sighing he turned to leave the bedroom. When he opened the door, he saw his son waiting in the groom's suite living room. Alex was wearing light blue robes and carried a small crème-coloured cushion with their wedding rings. "Dad, you look great." The boy jumped up from the sofa, where he had been waiting for his father to appear and walked over to him.

Swallowing Severus asked: "You think so?" He had always been insecure about his looks. Growing up dressed in rags and being called things like greasy git didn't help. He had learned not to listen to insults while being a teacher – he simply took an enormous amount of house points from the culprits, if he heard someone insulting him. He would never be as attractive as a James Potter or Sirius Black no matter what he did, so he had to live with those humiliating insults. But he still was self-conscious.

Severus looked down at his son who simply smiled at him and took his hand: "Let's go, Dad. The others are already waiting. There are loads of people here to see you and mum getting married." Before Severus could answer, his son was already pulling him in the direction of the door. "Come on, Dad."

00000

The guests were waiting outside. "Why on earth did we come here, Hermione?" Ron asked his wife. "We've always hated Snape and you've never liked Looney. So why come to their wedding?"

Sighing Hermione turned to her husband: "It's a chance to leave the past behind. Professor Snape is a war hero, he nearly sacrificed everything for the greater good and Harry's mum – we've never thanked him or shown him respect for everything he did. And it's a great opportunity – they are getting married according to one of the oldest Wizard traditions. You see the circle in the middle, the bride and her maids will come from the east and the groom and his men will come from the west. The couple will meet in the circle in the middle for their binding. They will be bound by for bounders symbolising the four elements and directions."

"Hermione, I don't need an encyclopaedia. And you shouldn't be interested in those forms of wedding traditions anyway. They were always used by purebloods to show their superiority. Why do you think no one in our family had one of those bindings? They are old-fashioned and boring. And it is Snape's wedding. He treated us like shit. He hates Gryffindors, he always has. I don't care what he supposedly did, he's an arse." Ron really hadn't matured. He still was the same pig-headed person with the emotional range of a teaspoon. Hermione sighed. Personally she thought the symbolism of a Wizard bond very romantic. The whole scenery was romantic. Her own wedding had been boring compared to this. Sometimes she truly wondered why she had married him. Yes, she loved him, but sometimes she wondered, if it was enough. She didn't want to argue any more so she kept her mouth shut. She only hoped that the ceremony wouldn't take to long and she would have a chance to disappear to the library soon. Lost in thought she didn't even realise that she was watched closely.

Smirking Lucius Malfoy couldn't help noticing the quarrel between the Weasleys. They were sitting next to the Potters and arguing while everyone was waiting for the bride and the groom. He watched Hermione Granger-Weasley. The mudblood had bested his son in all their exams at Hogwarts. She was one of the best students the school had ever seen. She was supposed to be the most intelligent witch in her generation. But she had married Ronald Weasley. That just didn't add up. He remembered seeing her as a buck-toothed child. She certainly had grown up to be an attractive woman. He was getting ideas watching her. He just had to get rid of her husband somehow to have some fun with her. Well, that shouldn't be too difficult – alcohol and quidditch – and Weasley would be occupied for the rest of the weekend. And for Hermione – well as part of the family he could use the magic of the mansion to seduce her – and not only her. Finally he had the chance to use this old magic, he really had to take advantage of this and the other bloodlines in the Wizarding World could only profit from the infusion of noble Malfoy blood. It was nearly impossible to have sex in this mansion without resulting in a pregnancy. The magic enhanced fertility at this place after all. That would be so much fun. He wondered. Was Severus aware of the magical properties of this place? Well, he would have to live with the consequences anyway. They had two children, so one or two more wouldn't hurt. Although Luna was Ravenclaw, he was certain that she counted on it. How Slytherin of her, he thought smirking.

The guest became quiet when the bride and the groom appeared in the magical garden. They walked towards each other. The garden was lightened by small fairy lights. Alexander carrying the wedding rings walked in front of his father, while his sister Selena walked in front of their mother. Luna was wearing crème-coloured wedding robes. She looked like a Greek goddess in those robes. They were held by golden brooches on her shoulders and she wore a golden belt around her waist. She was glowing. Her golden hair fell on her shoulders in loose curls.

Severus swallowed when he saw her. She was the most beautiful woman in the world. She was perfect. Did he really deserve her? This beautiful, perfect woman was about to get married to him. He couldn't believe his luck.

Their binders appeared in all four directions. Draco Malfoy – Severus godson – was standing in the south. Harry Potter – yes, Severus had asked Potter to finally let go of Lily's legacy – was standing in the south. Filius Flitwick, who had retired a couple of years earlier and who was Luna's former Head of House, was standing in the east, while Millicent Bulstrode – Luna's best friends for the last couple of years – was standing in the west. All four binders were holding their wands in front of their bodies, pointing them at the centre of the circle, where Amelia Bones the current Head of the Wizengamot was standing to administrate the ceremony.

Amelia Bones looked around before she began to speak: "Welcome, we've come here today to perform the Wizard Bond between Severus Tobias Snape and Luna Celeste Lovegood. This Magical Bonding Contract dates back millennia. It was the usual wedding ritual between the first witches and wizard, who learned this magic from the High Elves and the Fae. The Wizard Bond allows the couple to unite their magic. Their magic will protect their family and home. United they will be stronger than alone, but each of their magic's will grow through their contact as well. So each partner will be stronger than before." She looked at Severus and asked: "Severus Snape do you bind yourself to Luna Lovegood?"

"I do."

"Will you love her for as long as you both shall live?"

"I will."

"Will you protect her and all the children you shall have?"

"I will."

Amelia Bones turned to Luna and asked her: "Luna Lovegood do you bind yourself to Severus Snape?"

"I do."

"Will you love him for as long as you both shall live?

"I will."

"Will you cherish him and all the children you shall have?"

"I will."

Amelia took the wedding rings from the cushion Alexander was carrying and handed them to Luna and Severus: "Exchange your rings. Rings don't have an end – the circle is a symbol of eternity. May your love live on in eternity."

They put the rings on each other's fingers and held hands.

Amelia Bones switched to another language – only those among the attendees who had taken Ancient Runes at Hogwarts were able to understand anything now – but the blessing had to be spoken in the old tongue. A golden globe of magic built itself around the circle. Amelia signalled to Harry, who took his wand and said: "The North shall bless your union with water. May always be life in your home." A blue bond appeared in the magic globe binding Severus's and Luna's wrists. Then Draco stepped forward: "The South shall bless your union with its fire and warmth. Your hearth shall be protected forever." A red ribbon appeared around their wrists. Filius pointed his wand at the couple: "The West shall bring the air to your union, so that there will always be freedom in your marriage." A white ribbon appeared around their wrists. At last Millicent stepped for: "The East shall bless your union, bringing earth to it. The earth is the mother of all life - Bearing fruit bringing life. There always shall be life and fruit in your union." The last ribbon appearing around their wrist was green - green as the leaves on a spring day.

Amelia Bones chanted an ancient spell. The ribbons around their wrists connected themselves with their skin. They would remain part of them as binding tattoos forever. She looked at the new married couple and said: "To fulfil your bond you must kiss now."

Severus looked down at his wife and kissed her. The globe of magic became smaller and smaller – the couple seemed to absorb its magic while kissing. He really didn't know how much time had passed, when he finally looked up, because Madame Bones said: "May I present Mr. and Mrs. Snape." And the audience applauded.

Alexander and Selena walked over to their parents to hug them. Finally they were a proper family.

Xenophilius Lovegood who was standing in the background cried. His daughter, his only child had married the father of her children. He was happy. But he felt ashamed, he had avoided contacting his daughter for years – it was just too much that she had born her children out of wedlock. He had always loved her, but his only daughter having children fathered by a former Death Eater had been too much for him. He still wasn't sure what to think about Severus Snape. The man had sacrificed so much for the woman he loved – was he even able to love Luna properly, she wasn't Lily after all. But when he saw how his son-in-law looked at Luna and their children his worries began to fade. Luna would be happy. But Luna was always happy, because she always saw the good in everything and everyone.

Luna cleared her throat: "Let's celebrate. You are all invited for the weekends. The house-elves have prepared chambers for everyone. You are all welcome to stay and explore the grounds and the mansion. I want you to enjoy this magical place with us."

Hermione rubbed her hands she would get a chance to explore the library. Her husband who was standing next to her was rolling his eyes. Ignoring him she went directly into the library – she really wasn't interested in the festivities. Who needed food and wine when there were books available?

The newlyweds and their guest went into the great dining room, where the house elves had prepared a large buffet. The elves had magically enlarged the room, the large angular buffet table was standing at one wall, whereas there were many round tables for the guests to sit, eat and talk. They had decided against a seating order for their guests, because they wanted to give them a chance to change seats to interact with different people.

Severus and Luna sat down at a table with their children – Alexander and Selena were the only children at their wedding, who were really excited and giddy – and enjoyed their wedding menu. The house-elves had really exceeded themselves preparing the wedding dinner. Everything tasted great. There were all their favourite foods and drinks. Although Severus almost suffocated on the bite he had just been eating, when he saw Ronald Weasley eating. Was it really possible to put so much food on one plate? Didn't the man never get anything to eat at home and had to eat anything available when he was invited? It was disgusting.

Severus wasn't the only one shocked by Weasley's table manners – Lucius Malfoy who had decided to join the Snapes at their table watched the red-head disgusted, too. Well, he could understand why the man's wife had disappeared she had to watch him eat every day after all. According to his son Draco Hermione Granger had been an intelligent and most of the time well-mannered witch, albeit of an upper middle class muggle upbringing. But she had married a man whose family lived in a hovel and who ate like a swine. Lucius shuddered at the thought. He had to look away and turned to Millicent Bulstrode who sat on his right next to Alexander. "Well, Miss Bulstrode, your colleagues are married now. Have you ever thought about getting married yourself?"

The Transfiguration Mistress sighed: "Mr. Malfoy."

But Lucius interrupted her already: "Oh please, call me Lucius."

"Well, Lucius, I've never really considered getting married. To be completely honest, I've never been particularly interested in men. So I don't see why I should get married," the brunette told the blond man bluntly.

Smirking Lucius raised his glass and took a sip of the elf-made wine. Then he asked flirtingly: "Have you ever tried being with a man? Believe me, Millicent, an encounter with the opposite sex can be quite an experience, if you have the right partner."

Millicent's eyes widened slightly. Was Lucius Malfoy actually flirting with her? She was almost certain that she had misheard.

Raising an eyebrow Lucius considered the woman. Using the mansion's magic would make seducing her almost too easy and he had never had sex with a lesbian woman before. Maybe he could convince her to have a threesome with him and Hermione – he really liked that idea, but he still had to seduce the other woman, too. A threesome was quite the idea – a man in his fifties was allowed to have fun after all. But he was pulled out of his thoughts when Millicent cleared her voice: "Well, as I've said I've never really considered men as possible sexual partners. I honestly don't understand their appeal."

Refilling her wine glass Lucius slightly touched her hand and said:"Why not try? Are you afraid you could like being with a man? Yes, you prefer women – honestly I do, too – but there is so much more to life. And how can you say you don't like it, if you haven't even tried?"

Millicent swallowed. She was getting nervous. She was quite certain now that Lucius wanted to have sex with her. The most attractive Slytherin man wanted to have sex with her. She had never been attractive. She had always been too fat and too tall. Well, she was rather muscular as well, but that didn't help her to look really feminine. She raised her glass to her lips and took a sip wine. Was it getting hot in here?

Lucius smirked seeing her nervousness. He knew his effect on women.

"Excuse me, I need fresh air"; Millicent stood up and excused herself from the table. She had to get out.

Lucius watched her go. He would have to use magic to seduce her. Well, there was still plenty of time left. He took another sip of his wine and considered what to eat – the lobster looked delicious. Oysters were there as well – if his plan worked, he would need stamina.

Severus didn't see his old friend flirting with his former student Millicent. He had only eyes for Luna. They talked. They kissed. He felt loved. He really loved Luna. He couldn't remember that he had ever felt as happy as he did now. Suddenly Luna took his hands and pulled him of his chair. Music was playing softly. "Let's dance, husband." She laughed softly – he really loved her laugh – and pulled him on the dance floor.

They danced. Severus had usually avoided dancing at social functions, but this was his own wedding. For the first time since Lily he didn't mind it – no better: he enjoyed dancing with his wife Luna. Their guests watched them before joining them after a few minutes. Ginny and Harry Potter were swirling around – Potter had obviously learned how to dance properly since the Yule Ball in his fourth year at Hogwarts. The younger Malfoys were dancing, too, but Lucius was nowhere to be seen. The Slytherin womanizer wasn't dancing, that was a surprise.

00000

Lucius Malfoy was otherwise occupied. He entered the library carrying two glasses of the wonderful elf-made wine. He had a mission – Hermione Granger-Weasley was currently sitting in an old armchair and was reading an ancient manuscript, when Lucius entered. She didn't even notice Lucius coming over to stand behind her. "Well, well, Madame Granger-Weasley you have found the original manuscript concerning Morgaine LeFay's bloodline."

Hermione looked up shocked. She was surprised to see Lucius standing over her.

"You must know, we are very proud that we can trace our heritage back to Morgaine LeFay. This Mansion was passed down in a female line – it is currently owned by Luna who is my niece.

"I didn't know that Luna was related to you, Mr. Malfoy", Hermione's eyes widened at his admission. Lucius Malfoy admitting non-Slytherin relatives was a bit of a surprise. "Can I help you, Mr. Malfoy? I didn't expect anyone else in the library during the wedding celebration."

Handing her one of the wine-glasses Lucius told her: "Well, everyone is rather busy now – I have not been to this mansion for years, not since my sister married Lovegood and I wanted to see this library again."

Surprised she raised an eyebrow and eyed him critically, but she took the glass from him nevertheless. She had never known the Malfoys to be interested in libraries. But she had to admit that she didn't really know Lucius Malfoy. Yes, she had never liked Draco and knew Lucius to be an arrogant arse, but she didn't really know them. "So you are related to Luna who has married your old friend Snape now. How do you feel about that development?" She took a sip of her wine and waited for his answer.

Taking a sip of his wine, Lucius eyed the woman in front of him questioningly. "You think I should mind Luna Lovegood marrying Severus Snape? Why? One of my oldest friends, my son's godfather has just married my niece. Well, he is half-blood and her mother was disowned, but I see them as part of my family nevertheless. Does that surprise you – Hermione?"

She didn't really know how to react. She didn't really believe Lucius Malfoy, he had fought against them – and Luna – in the Ministry when Sirius Black died. Why did he see her as part of his family now? She swallowed. He had called her Hermione. She hadn't given him leave to use her first name. Why did he use her first name? It was disconcerting. How was she to react now? Should she call him Lucius? Should she ask him to call her Madame Weasley-Granger? Was she supposed to call him Lucius now?

But Lucius didn't really wait for her to answer, because he continued. "I am really happy for Severus and Luna. They are both very intelligent, powerful sorcerers and their children are powerful, too. And powerful offspring is very important for the Wizarding World. The wars of the last century have led to a decline of our population – yes, I'm aware of the high birth-rates in the first two or three years after the fall of the Dark Lord – but the overall outlook is bad."

Hermione blinked. Well, that was definitely interesting. "So if you are so worried about the decline of the population now, why did you join the Death Eaters in first place? Killing people – no matter of muggleborn, half-blood or pure-blood – doesn't help the population to grow." She was rather angry now. This arrogant, bigoted arse also known as Lucius Malfoy was telling her about the decline of the wizarding population, after partaking in mass-murder and genocide himself. But he apparently ignored her outrage and took a sip of his wine, before turning back to her. "Well, Hermione. You have seen the wedding ceremony today. Although Severus is half-blood and Luna was a blood-traitor during the war, they've followed one of the oldest pure-blood traditions for their wedding. Why do you think a man like Dumbledore was friends with a pure-blood maniac like Grindelwald? Do you really think it's only about blood?" He saw her nodding and shaking her head – she obviously wasn't able to make up her mind, so he continued. "No, it is not. The problem with most muggleborns has been that they have never truly embraced our wizarding society..."

He didn't have a chance to continue, because Hermione huffed loudly and interrupted him: "Why on earth would we embrace this bigoted, menacing pure-blood ideology?"

Narrowing his eyes, he answered: "And that is where you are wrong, Hermione. It is about traditions, religion and much more. You are aware that although the International Statute of Secrecy came about – I think it was – 1685..."

"1692 – International Statute of Secrecy", Hermione interrupted him again.

Irritated Lucius cleared his voice: "Be that as it may, you don't get the point. In the times before the Statute of Secrecy muggleborns often put our society in danger." Hermione was about to interrupt him again but he raised his hand and continued. "The witch hunts endangered mostly young muggleborns, who didn't want to leave their families for good. They were brought up with different values and beliefs and sought to intertwine both muggle and wizarding world. Their families often feared them for what they were. And they weren't able to fully integrate into our society, because they brought their parents beliefs with them. Our traditions were only valued by the pure-bloods. You have seen the marriage ceremony today, Hermione. Our traditions are not evil, they are simply different from the traditions you grew up with in the muggle world."

"But the Weasleys are pure-bloods and they are interested in the muggle world and they don't follow those antiquated pure-blood traditions." Hermione pressed out. She was speaking really fast, because she didn't know, when Lucius would give her a chance to speak up again.

But Lucius only snorted: "Yes, the Weasleys embrace a mugglish lifestyle, but there are also muggles, who embrace esoteric, who practise divination and believe in their version of magic."

Now it was Hermione's turn to snort: "Well, but those muggles are clearly out of their mind. They don't see reality as it is and they aren't able to see reason."

"Well, now you know how the Weasleys are viewed by most pure-bloods." Lucius was rather amused by Hermione's outrage and smirked knowingly.

"But it's not the same", Hermione argued.

"Oh, but it is exactly the same", Lucius saw the resistance in Hermione's eyes and sighed. She just couldn't accept being wrong, could she? Their conversation was beginning to aggravate him, although he found aggravating her rather funny. That woman simply loved to argue. He concentrated on the fae magic of the mansion to ensnare the woman opposite and continued. "You will find some interesting books about our old wizard traditions in this library." He stood up and went over to one of the shelves. He felt Hermione's eyes following his every move. He took out an ancient tome and came back to his armchair. He gave the book to Hermione. "This is a compendium of the most important pure-blood traditions."

Hermione wanted to look at the book - she had come here for Luna's ancestral library after all – but she couldn't tear her eyes of Lucius' lips. How could a man have so sensual lips? He smirked at her seductively while he was telling her about the pure-blood traditions mentioned in the book she was holding. But Hermione couldn't really follow.

Lucius felt the magic. His magic and his ancestral magic were more and more seducing the young woman. And she hadn't even realised it yet.

00000

Severus and Luna were enjoying their wedding reception. After hours of dancing and talking with their guest, they decided to leave the ballroom. The party had got quite out of hand – Ronald Weasley was lying in a corner and was stuffing his face with food, he appeared rather drunk as well – was it really possible to eat and drink that much? Other guests had apparently disappeared somewhere and where nowhere to be seen.

Not wanting to think about their guests anymore, Severus and Luna went to their wedding chambers. The house elves had prepared a beautiful bedroom. Flowers and scented candles were everywhere – after entering the room, Severus went over to the window and opened it. The smell of perfume, flowers and candles was too much.

Severus swallowed. He was nervous. Although he knew that he had had sex with Luna at one point, he couldn't remember it. He loved her. But he had never slept with a woman he loved before. Lily had never been so close to him, they had kissed once – in the summer after their forth year – but that was all. For him sex had always been about physical release, he had never felt an emotional connection to his partner before. He had this emotional connection now. He wanted his first – conscious – time with Luna to be special. He wanted to feel loved and he wanted her to feel loved. Although his inner turmoil wasn't visible on the outside, his thoughts drifted more and more.

Suddenly he felt Luna's hand touching his face. "You are over thinking. Let go, Severus." His new wife told him in her eerie and dreamy voice.

He looked down into her beautiful dove-grey eyes and saw her smiling at him. "I'm happy and I'm afraid I'll spoil our relationship like I've spoiled all my relationships in the past."

His voice was quiet, but Luna heard the deep sadness in his words. She hugged him. "Severus, you are making an effort. You must believe that you deserve to be loved. It's not your fault that you were hurt in the past, but you need to learn that being hurtful isn't the solution to any of your problems."

Severus took her hand and they sat down on the huge four-poster bed in the centre of the room. "I know that. But it's still difficult to accept."

Luna simply smiled and kissed him.

Severus felt their magic connecting while they were kissing. They had already been bound through their marriage ceremony, but every time they touched their magic intertwined. Their magic felt complete. They kissed. His hands roamed her back. He felt the silken fabric of her wedding robes and her warm body beneath them. He wanted to be closer to her. His hands searched the hem of her dress and pulled it up. He needed her. He needed to get her out of her clothes. At the same time Luna's hands searched his body. Her small hands lay on his torso and her fingers began to open the buttons of his shirt. She wanted to undress him, too. They stood up, because it seemed too difficult to undress while standing. They stood at the end of the bed and were facing each other. They kissed again and tried to pull of their clothes.

Their breathing, their movements everything became more and more erratic. Severus couldn't remember ever having trouble undressing before. But undressing Luna and seemed so urgent. He needed her. He wanted to feel her skin to skin. Finally, after what appeared to be ages for him, they were both naked. He touched her fine alabaster skin. He could see the blue veins under her soft, white skin. Her body was so unblemished compared to his. Suddenly he felt ashamed of his scars and didn't dare to look into her eyes – he was old, ugly and scarred.

But Luna put her hand on his cheek and forced him to look into her beautiful eyes. "You have nothing to be ashamed of, Severus. You have led a hard life. You have fought bravely. Your scars don't matter - they are relicts of you past. Today is the first day of your new life – of our life together."

She softly kissed his lips. Her lips travelled down. She carefully kissed the scars on his neck while her hands were moving up and down his flanks.

He heard his blood pulsing in his ears and was aware that his heart was pumping more and more blood into his loins. Luna kissing him everywhere on his body aroused him. He had to touch. He pulled her up, because she currently busy kissing his nipples and kissed her. His tongue slid along her lips asking for entrance. Luna opened her mouth and her tongue greeted his. Their kiss became heated. His left hand held the back of her head to keep her close, while his right hand was slowly travelling down her body cupping her breast. He started teasing her nipple with his finger while he was kissing her heatedly. Without breaking their kiss, Severus lifted his wife and carried her to their bed. He lay her down in the middle of their huge bed. The petite woman appeared tiny between the cushions. Laying down next to her he never broke their kiss. His hands touched her body everywhere. He cupped her breasts, teased her nipples. Luna moaned softly. She seemed to like what he did to her. Severus had to smirk when his wife moaned due to his caresses.

Suddenly lying next to his wife wasn't enough. He covered her body with his. His painfully hard erection pressed against her lap. Slowly his lips travelled down her body. He took one of her nipples into his mouth teasing it with his tongue. At the same time his hands found a place on her hips. After a few moments he swapped to her other nipple – it wouldn't do to neglect one of them. While his mouth was busy caressing her breasts his hand slipped down cupping her pubic mount. He felt her silken pubic hair – looking down he noticed it to be blonde and neatly trimmed – he couldn't help it and let out a throaty growl. He found her exited. Her arousal was hot and wet on his fingers.

Luna let out an exited moan when Severus started teasing her folds with his skilled fingers. He teased her mercilessly, never touching the place where she wanted him most. She groaned frustrated, took his hand with her own and guided his fingers towards her clitoris.

Noticing her intention, Severus smirked. His new wife obviously knew what she wanted. He almost considered teasing her a bit more by avoiding her lust centre, but it was their wedding night and he decided to be nice – well, as nice as he could be. He stimulated her clitoris. The more he stimulated her, the more erratic Luna's movements became. She bucked against his hand wanting him closer. He slid further down her body until he faced her pubic mount directly. Her clit and folds were swollen and wet, drawing his attention. He continued fingering Luna. Letting his middle finger glide down from her clitoris till it rested at her entrance. Using the fingers of his other hand to open her folds, he licked her clit carefully with his tongue.

Luna squealed excitedly and bucked against his face.

Delighted by her reaction Severus continued to lick her most sensitive area while he entered her with his middle finger. He caressed her intimately until he felt the contractions of her orgasm pressing on his finger and she squealed in delight.

"Come her Severus", Luna said trying to pull him up smiling seductively at him. Severus needed no further invitation. Catlike he moved along her body till he covered her completely. His painfully hard erection pressed against her entrance. With a mighty thrust he entered her.

Luna's moans became louder while Severus was moving in her wet heat. They were finally together. He loved feeling her around him, he was home. He knew, he wouldn't last long and used his finger to stimulate Luna's sweet clitoris. He wanted her to come. He wanted them to come together. Luna rewarded his efforts with another loud moan. It only took a few moments and he felt her constrict around his member. The pressure of her vaginal muscles during orgasm was delicious. He couldn't take it any longer with a last thrust he released his seed into her waiting womb.

Their marriage was consummated.

Exhausted Severus sank down - he had to remind himself to roll to the side, because he didn't want to crush Luna with his weight.

He lay on his back and Luna laid her head on his chest. "That was wonderful, Severus. I love you."

Looking down on his wife, Severus answered: "I love you, too, Luna."

Tired and exhausted they fell both asleep quickly. They would wake up to their new life together tomorrow.


End file.
